Saturday, October 12, 2013
This week I am grateful for my mind change. This journey has just turned less into losing weight and more into making life changes. I am thinking more about the long term and my health in general rather than just this being about how many pounds am I going to lose this week.
I stopped the incessant scale watching this week. I vowed only to weigh my self on Fridays - and only because I am in a 10 week challenge that has weekly weigh ins, otherwise I was going to go to 1 month weigh ins. I was weighing myself 6-10 times a day...I know .. I know ....WAAAYYYY too much. Each time I didn't see any results it would turn really ugly in my head. I wasn't doing anything right, I was eating too much, I was a pig, I can't do anything right, I am not worth all the effort. I'm telling you....it was BAD!. I am my own worst enemy.
The thing is, in my logical mind, I know what I am doing is good and that I have made really good changes in my life and I am making much better food decisions now. So, in order to cut out the cancerous thoughts, I had to make this journey less about the weight loss (which I know will come if am living a healthy clean life) and more about learning and implementing a new lifestyle. This is about making informed decisions about food and fitness that will last for the rest of my life. This is about learning to love myself and taking the best care I can about myself. And knowing that I am not perfect and that is okay too. As long as I am making good decisions for myself most of the time, then those little excesses are a part of life. Its when I stop making those good decisions for myself and those little excesses become the norm, that is when this is a problem.
Just a little side note on the only weighing myself once a week now. I just finished my first week of not weighing myself ALL week. When it came to weigh myself Friday morning after my workout, I was nervous, worried and excited all at the same time. And I felt so elated when I stepped on the scale and I was down 1lb. It was validation that I don't need to weigh myself everyday. I only need to live right and keep making better decisions for myself.