Saturday, October 12, 2013
My schedule went from pretty open-ended to rather full quickly. There wasn't any in between to get used to it and I'm finding that there's not much relaxation time.
After trying all summer to find a balance, it's discouraging to realize that I haven't found a balance yet.
Mom is worrying me. All of a sudden, about three weeks ago, something happened that made her really agitated. She quickly started forgetting things and losing things. She forgot that she used her charge card for things; she thought someone else may have used it. After calling to dispute the charges, cancelling the card, and getting another one coming, she remembered making the charges and what they were for. A few days later, she lost her checkbook. That was a 2.5 hour project going through paperwork looking for it. It gave me a chance to get rid of things she didn't need, but...that was time spent that I had allocated for other things.
She said she was still feeling very anxious and wanted to go to the doctor. The doctor didn't find anything specific, but said she may just be having the start of age-related dementia. The blood work didn't show anything. I got her some Tylenol PM, she had a few good nights sleep, and I was beginning to think maybe things would smooth out.
Yesterday, Mom called saying she was out of toilet paper. She could've swore she had bought some, but it wasn't in the house. So, I stopped and got her some. When I got to her house, there was about 20 rolls in the linen closet. She said she realized she meant to tell me paper towels. So, back up to the store for paper towels. She remembered that my brother brought a couple rolls down the day before. Okay, she's set for awhile and starts to send me home. But she can't find my meatloaf pan to give back to me. Then she can't find the card she uses for long distance phone calls. Then she doesn't remember that she had two credit cards. Back through papers looking for them.
At least I know that I'm getting rid of a lot of paperwork that she doesn't need. I know that she's stocked up in things she uses around the house. But I don't get what's going on that made things go so wrong so fast. Dealing with her anxiousness and forgetfulness and started making me anxious and forgetful. There's my own paperwork that's getting lost in the shuffle because I don't have the time to sit and do it and put it away where it's supposed to go. And then, I got home yesterday to find out that my less-than-a-year-old computer is screwing up again. It wiped out on me about two months ago and i lost everything. I am struggling to not lose everything this time, but am not sure. i couldn't update my spark tracker yesterday because I couldn't get on the internet at all. That was why I was MIA yesterday.
I realize I'm rambling. My mind has been in a state of ramble full time for two weeks now. I'm working on it - saying prayers, meditating, exercising, everything I can think of and fit in. Time to make another doctor appointment for Mom and one for me - just to see if I can find answers.