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PATTYKLAVER
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Life's Throwing Things At Me

Saturday, October 12, 2013

My schedule went from pretty open-ended to rather full quickly. There wasn't any in between to get used to it and I'm finding that there's not much relaxation time.
After trying all summer to find a balance, it's discouraging to realize that I haven't found a balance yet.

Mom is worrying me. All of a sudden, about three weeks ago, something happened that made her really agitated. She quickly started forgetting things and losing things. She forgot that she used her charge card for things; she thought someone else may have used it. After calling to dispute the charges, cancelling the card, and getting another one coming, she remembered making the charges and what they were for. A few days later, she lost her checkbook. That was a 2.5 hour project going through paperwork looking for it. It gave me a chance to get rid of things she didn't need, but...that was time spent that I had allocated for other things.

She said she was still feeling very anxious and wanted to go to the doctor. The doctor didn't find anything specific, but said she may just be having the start of age-related dementia. The blood work didn't show anything. I got her some Tylenol PM, she had a few good nights sleep, and I was beginning to think maybe things would smooth out.

Yesterday, Mom called saying she was out of toilet paper. She could've swore she had bought some, but it wasn't in the house. So, I stopped and got her some. When I got to her house, there was about 20 rolls in the linen closet. She said she realized she meant to tell me paper towels. So, back up to the store for paper towels. She remembered that my brother brought a couple rolls down the day before. Okay, she's set for awhile and starts to send me home. But she can't find my meatloaf pan to give back to me. Then she can't find the card she uses for long distance phone calls. Then she doesn't remember that she had two credit cards. Back through papers looking for them.

At least I know that I'm getting rid of a lot of paperwork that she doesn't need. I know that she's stocked up in things she uses around the house. But I don't get what's going on that made things go so wrong so fast. Dealing with her anxiousness and forgetfulness and started making me anxious and forgetful. There's my own paperwork that's getting lost in the shuffle because I don't have the time to sit and do it and put it away where it's supposed to go. And then, I got home yesterday to find out that my less-than-a-year-old computer is screwing up again. It wiped out on me about two months ago and i lost everything. I am struggling to not lose everything this time, but am not sure. i couldn't update my spark tracker yesterday because I couldn't get on the internet at all. That was why I was MIA yesterday.

I realize I'm rambling. My mind has been in a state of ramble full time for two weeks now. I'm working on it - saying prayers, meditating, exercising, everything I can think of and fit in. Time to make another doctor appointment for Mom and one for me - just to see if I can find answers.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v FIFIFRIZZLE
    If your mother has suddenly become confused and forgetful, has she started missing r doubling up on any medications? This could make things worse.
    1004 days ago
  • v CTUPTON
    Thanks for commenting about my struggles with evening eating.It was very nice of you to reach out to me. Isn't SP wonderful. I am seeing you have your own problems to deal with. Hugs and prayers fro you and your Mom. Paperwork has been a long-standing problem for me. Right now I am seeing some progress in that area. But,,,after doing the floors, things are in disarray. And if I don' t get the condo put back together, things will soon become unmanageable--again.

    chris emoticon and emoticon
    1009 days ago
  • v ERINLINDSAY83
    So sorry to hear about your mom...i definitely know what that's like. IF you do think it's the onset of dementia.....make her an appointment asap with a neurologist, The sooner it is treated, the slower it will progress!

    Stay strong, but dont forget to take care of yourself!
    1011 days ago
  • v SLACHETKA103145
    emoticon about your Mom! I know that when they grow older it is so easy to look for every little sign that something is wrong! Try to go with the flow and it will seem to make things not easier but go better!

    Jean emoticon emoticon
    1013 days ago
  • v JANTHEBLONDE
    emoticon emoticon
    1013 days ago
  • v IGNITEME101
    My heart goes out to you. I have been there done that, only I was in your moms shoes! I suffer from PTSD & AFTER 10 YRS., I HAD A BREAKTHROUGH.
    Your moms undelying cause is different I'm certain, but the symptoms are identical.
    Nothing made me feel less significant as a person than to realize I had no short term memory.
    I will pray for you, both.
    emoticon until you have a chance to discuss this with your dr.
    Remember we must take care of ourselves, because if we don't we can't take care of anyone else!
    1013 days ago
  • v SLIMLILA
    Prayers and hugs going out to you Patty.

    Is your mom maybe just more lonesome and looking for excuses to have someone with her? I know my mom will say she's doing "absolutely nothing" when I call and everyone's been busy and then I hear she's going on yet another trip and did this and that, but when she's alone, she forgets all the other things she's doing. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, cuz I seem to be very very busy, or so people tell me, yet I will feel like I did nothing and am bored.

    Glad you are getting her in for a checkup, but I think it would be hard for doc to see changes that family usually see first... tough time, who said this getting old was supposed to be fun!!!!! emoticon
    1014 days ago
  • v MOMMA48
    emoticon hugs my super bud! Has your mother been acting like this for a certain amount of time or did it just come on suddenly? Any medication changes or something on that order? As meds can sure cause a lot of problems sometimes. But, please take care, get your rest and stay strong! You're a wonderful daughter and your Mom is one lucky lady! She has you and you have her -- treasure your days, hun, and I hope and pray things get better for you and your Mom.
    1014 days ago
  • v GRNDMOM43
    You have a lot to handle with issues for your mom and yourself. You are in my thoughts and prayers my friend.
    1014 days ago
  • v STRONGERLEANER
    You have a lot to handle. It sounds like you are being very gracious!

    Maybe check with her doctor about what can be done to help your mom relax? Also, is there anyone who can be there with her a few hours a day to help reassure her and to help keep track of things. Even if she thought of the person as more of a companion, to keep her company, it might help.

    I'm sure you and the doctor can find a workable solution.
    1015 days ago
  • v AWESOMECHELZ
    Maybe in your mind it sounds like rambling but your thoughts here are very clear.

    If it was me, I would call an elderly organization for ideas for your mom: a couple of days of week with a program for activities; once a week care at home, etc. They may have support and ideas for you too. It is too hard by yourself and I don't want you to get sick.

    I am sorry about the computer. Maybe there is a local college where a sharp student can help you with your computer for cheaper.

    I wishing could do more to help you but just know I can care and I am sorry. emoticon And I hear you. emoticon
    LOVE, CHELSEA
    1015 days ago
  • v PROUD-GRANDMA
    emoticon
    1015 days ago
  • v PENNYPEARLS
    ((Hugs))
    1015 days ago
  • v MNNICE
    I agree with the advice to see a lawyer and have a Power of Attorney drawn up while she is still competent to know what she is signing. Otherwise, it may mean having to set up a guardianship in order for you to help with her business affairs. It's hard on both the child and the parent when the roles are reversed. You need to take care of yourself as best you can. My prayers for you and your mother.
    1015 days ago
  • v DIDMIS
    Patty, I can feel for you. My husband had dementia or alzheimer's for years before dying. I took care of him at home for years and finally had to put him in a NH.
    Then I had to go there and help take care of him. He was such a good man and I hated to see this. People say they don't suffer. He did. He knew what was happening to him.
    If your mother lives alone could you find someone to assist in her care. It could get dangerous later.
    Not to scare you but I have seen first hand and also have known other people with it.
    emoticon emoticon
    1015 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/12/2013 10:21:44 AM
  • v RASPBERRY56
    Sudden changes in routine and activity can be rough to deal with - personally, I'd rather have my schedule fill up rather than empty out (I tend to thrive on activity and engagement with life), but it can be rough to deal with if it's sudden, and there's no reasonable balance.......

    I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles with your mother - I hope you can get answers that will help!
    1015 days ago
  • v GHOSTFLAMES
    YES THEY ARE ALL THE SIGNS FOR SURE.MY MIL HAD THAT AND MY IN LAWS DID NOTHING AND NOW TO LATE KEEP IN CHECK WITH THE DR. GET HER STARTED ON MEDS. AND WORKING A LOT OF CROSSWORD PUZZLES AND SEARCH A WORD ARE GOOD EXERCISES FOR IT.
    IT SHE IS ON ANY KIND OF MED FAMILY MEMBERS SHOULD BE NOW GIVING THEM TO HER MIL GOT SO MESSED UP ON TAKING THE WRONGS ONES AND AT THE WRONG TIMES AND NOT ALL TAKING THEM SAD.
    NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO GET POWER OF ATTORNEY TRUST ME BEFORE IT'S TO LATE ALL THINGS WE DON'T WANT TO DO BUT IN THE LONG RUN IS ALL FOR THE BEST.
    MONEY'S TRANSFERRED,TITLES AS WELL FR HOME ,CAR. IF SHE HAD TO BE PLACED THEY WOULD TAKE EVERYTHING AND NOW NOT SURE IT USE TO BE THAT THEY CAN GO 5 YEARS BACK NOW I THINK IT IS 7 OR 10 NOT SURE.
    WE HAVE LEARNED FROM EXPERIENCE.
    GOOD LUCK AND PRAYERS GO OUT.
    1015 days ago
  • v ADRIENNEAKAAJ
    Just take a deep breath...Im sorry you are going through all of this :( Hang in there..it always gets better! emoticon
    1015 days ago
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