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I am BACK!

Saturday, October 12, 2013

For the first time in over a year, I feel like I am BACK. Now, if you are reading my blog for the first time, you might be wondering, "Well, where did she go?" I guess I have always been around but not really attending. I feel like I have not been excited about too many things in my life like I was stuck in a coma. I would peek but than I would go back to feeling nothing and showing no emotion. If you have through any abusive relationship, I am sure you understand you just start to shut down ALL emotion.

A few months ago, I moved to a new town and eventually met a nice guy. He has been ever so patient and understanding in my healing process from that bad relationship. He knows I want to be healthy and supports me losing weight. Not because HE wants me to lose it but because **I** want to. It's funny. I never once asked him to eat healthy. It just is that way because I cook the majorly of the meals. Before I knew it, he's eating salads and fruit when I am not there. I think it's great! Than, we went on a walk together one night. After that, he wants to walk every night we hang out. Last night, it was a 2-hour walk. He also told me he is cutting back on smoking his pipe which never bothered me. I guess I "sparked" him which in turn is "sparking" me. I really love that I made it VERY clear he does not need to be healthy or fit in order to date me. But, he wants to make these strides for HIM. It's cool (and kinda fun) to do it with a significant other. Honestly, I've never had that.

For the last two weeks, I have exercised 5 days each week. It's great to see that! I even did a routine with kettlebells. I think I will look up different routines for kettlebells. It was a nice change! I can feel my endurance getting better. 20 minute work outs used to be a struggle to get to. Now, it's 30 minutes and soon will be 40 minutes. It's such an awesome feeling! I have been running, too. Nothing crazy. My last run was 1.66 miles. But, I am getting there. In December, I am going a 5K. I was going to do one tomorrow but boy, I ran 2.25 miles I think it was last week and I was sore for three days. Obviously, I am more out of shape than I thought. But, I do NOT have to stay there! Anyhow, after I run that 5K, I am the training begins. I am so excited. Another Americorp VISTA that just finished a full marathon asked if I wanted to do the Get Lucky Half Marathon in March and I said YES! I soon was mapping out my training schedule.. and before I knew it, I was mapping out training for another half marathon I have been eyeing up.. than I was like I could training for Grandma's Marathon this year. So, I mapped that, too, with keeping in mind it's a maybe! Good thing my calendar was only $5!

Besides getting back into running/fitness shape, I really want to buckle down to lose these pesky 20 pounds. I don't want them. They don't make me feel GOOD. So, I decided I had enough! I looked into different approaches to weight loss and decided to stick with something I know works -- So, here I am tracking. I am SUPER proud. My boyfriend and I had pizza and I tracked it! Typically, I would just assume I went over. But, I didn't go over as much as I thought. Than, today I tracked. I was over 200 calories. That is like what I burned for kettlebells which I didn't track. I never track strength training. Anyhow, today really made me feel like I CAN DO THIS!

As for these 20 pounds, I have decided it was a good thing to gain them. It proves to myself that I do not need to be afraid of weight gain which honestly I was. Also, I think sometimes we need to lose something to truly appreciate it. I lost my fitness and just did not appreciate it like I should. Some people say they run because others cannot. I never understood that statement but I understand it better now.

I am just so excited to actually believe in myself again and to have a wonderful sidekick to think so too instead of tearing me down! He even thinks I can sell my paintings and write a book. I'm actually exploring those options! By the way, he is going to take some pictures of me so I can finally update my Sparkpage. They are all great photos but I don't feel that is the current me. I want the current me up!
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