Friday, October 11, 2013
For the past couple of weeks I've been feeling 'on the verge' that I'm sliding down that slippery slope and losing it.
While I HAVE been reaching out to my awesome therapist, SP Friends and dear family for support and getting tons, my jangling nerves, sleepless nights and hysterical crying jag yesterday was a HUGE wake up call that it was time for me to call in the Calvary. I decided to get myself into my primary dr for some bigger ammunition.
Fighting down embarrassment and humiliation, I managed to give the nurse and dr a thumbnail of all the dreck
without breaking down utterly and completely.
They were VERY KIND. Spent a LONG TIME (~an hour) listening to me & talking (NOT the usual 2 minute breeze in/breeze out appt.)
Long Story Short: Altho I was ashamed to admit I couldn't handle everything on my own medication-free, I took their advice and now have a rx for Xanax. As a rule, I like to keep clear and rarely indulge in anything stronger than HOT skinny mochas
, but I allowed myself to accept their advice and help.
1/2 Xanax (I was afraid to take a whole one)
at bedtime and I slept peacefully ALL night!
Woke up feeling more like my optimistic self
All this has been REALLY hard for me to admit and share cuz I've ALWAYS been of the mindset that I CAN AND SHOULD DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ON MY OWN.
I'm sharing my hard-learned lesson that we NEED EACH OTHER and IT'S OK TO REACH OUT FOR HELP.
What a Concept!