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When does this end?

Thursday, October 10, 2013

I have always had anger problems since I was young. I have been gaining control of this for the past few months by seeing a therapist. I also have terrible anxiety which has improved over the past few months as well. I was never diagnosed with depression however since my bf (wasn't some silly relationship, we were planning our future together)recently broke up with me about 3 weeks ago all I feel lately is anger, sadness, confusion, aggression, the list goes on. I go to work and I dread coming home because I just don't want to be here alone. I never lived with him, I've had a roommate for the past few years so I'm not sure why I dread going home, I suppose it is because I don't want to be alone. I am always very sad, crying all the time when I am alone and I honestly wish I could not exist. I even looked up ways to die last night as I laid in bed crying. I feel like all of the work I have done to get a grasp on my problems has gone out the window.
I've never been in this much pain and misery and I don't know what to do to stop feeling like this. I have started to incorporate more exercise into my daily life however it takes so much energy and focus to even get myself to do anything. I just want to stop feeling this way and I don't know how. I see all of these happy people around me and I don't know how to feel like that. Why can't I be normal?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sorry you are hurting. Him leaving will just make it easier for the right one to enter your life. It will get easier as you heal. emoticon
    1468 days ago
    I am so sorry you are in pain. The only thing I can tell you is that this shall pass. Nothing stays the same, but when you are going through a terrible time it feels like it will never end but it will. emoticon
    1469 days ago
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