I don't know really what my good weight is. I was a fat baby from a family of fat people.
Of course I outgrew that somewhat. But when I was around age five my mom secretly started watching what I ate. She didn't tell me because she didn't want me to develop a complex. Even though we didn't know much about eating disorders back in those days, she was smart to think of this. Probably her awareness and a growth spurt helped me grow out of that childhood pudginess.
So I stayed at a pretty reasonable weight until I got to my early teenage years. Then I quit growing taller and started growing wider! I think that by the time I graduated from high school I was probably around 170 pounds, and I was only 5'5 with a smallish frame, so that was too much for me.
I lost two close friends the summer before college and I had a hard time with that. I think that the stress of that and the yucky food at college were ultimately the reason that I lost weight. I got down to about 140 and stayed there for many years. But I was also not a healthy eater and lacked vitamins, so I was often sick. I had bronchitis, pneumonia and during that time my acid reflux really flared up. I married and kept the weight off for a few years. I was a voracious exerciser and eventually I incorporated healthier eating into my diet. I was pretty obsessive about what I put into my body! My body was firm and I was very fit. Then I went through a divorce, moved to a new town and found a new man. I was soooo very happy but I was also pushing myself too hard, not getting enough sleep, not exercising, and eating whatever. Over the years, the weight came back on. Eventually I was back up to the 170 - 180 mark.
I tried Weight Watchers and I lost the weight. I got to 140 pounds and was exercising a little, though not as much as I did back in the earlier years. But I felt good and am now a lifetime WW member.
I kept that weight off for while and once again I changed careers. I got a job where I liked what I did, but I didn't fit in with the company so well. I was working a lot and I guess I was pretty stressed and I ended up gaining a whole lot. I can blame a lot of things on that - the job, lots of venti lattes, many other things. I was going to YMCA most days and working out but I ended up putting on so much weight! I got up to about 220 pounds this time around. Yikes! I got a new job (with a company that I LOVE) and they had Weight Watchers at Work, so back I went to that. I got back down to 150 pounds. Yay! Still not back to 140, but I was feeling good! I wasn't exercising too much though.
Then we went through some hard times. My sister-in-law got really sick and in 2009 she passed away (only 34 years old). One of our beloved kitties got the same kind of cancer she had and he died too! We were devastated. We moved to a different community and the long commute took a very hard toll on me. That year I said I was going to enjoy Christmas food and not care about calories. I enjoyed it all right! The weight started to creep back on. Then I got a promotion and I was working long and hard hours. I gained and got back up to 220 pounds. Weight Watchers wasn't working for me anymore. I just couldn't bring myself to do it and when I did, it didn't seem to work very well (they had changed their program).
Finally at the end of 2012, I decided that enough was enough. I don't want to get older and not be able to get around and do the things that I love. So I set a goal of 145. That seemed good for my 5'5 frame and it seemed doable. I completely changed the way that I eat and I exercise six days a week now. I got to 145 in late August and I feel great! I do a variety of exercise and I am on a SP maintenance team that is very encouraging. The question is, should 145 be my final weight? I am actually down to 140 now and I am considering that since I have been at that weight and kept it off for most of my 20s and for part of my 30s and 40s, is that really my "happy" weight? I am trying to figure it out. Since during a lot of the time that I was eating so much I didn't exercise (and my second time of WW I didn't exercise) I am still very flabby and so I continue to work on strength training and exercise. If I lose the fat but build up the muscle, will I maintain the weight? It's so hard to know. We are all different and how are bodies will react to certain exercise and activities will not be the same for anyone. So today I changed my goal weight from 145 to 140. My plan is to continue to eat well and exercise regularly. If I do this, there is no doubt that I will maintain my weight.