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    BRADMILL2922   37,581
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Remember

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Thursday, October 10, 2013



What comes to mind when you think back to the start of your journey? Do you remember how you felt back then? Maybe your journey started three months or three years ago, but that isn't important. Do you remember the reasons you started? Do you remember how you felt the first time you stepped on that scale and the number went down for the first time in...FOREVER! Do you remember?

I remember that over 4 years ago when I started at 509 lbs., I didn't think I had a realistic shot at seeing 299 lbs. I remember the overwhelming thought of losing 210 lbs. and the sacrifices it would take to make that goal. I remember thinking that there is NO WAY possible I can do that! Sure, I would give it my best effort and I would probably end up in the 300's somewhere. I would be happy with that because after all, I was 150 lbs. lighter, and that is something, right? I remember all the happy thoughts I had of workouts I had accomplished and pounds I had lost only to be shot down by negative thoughts creeping in my head of how far I had to go!

I remember losing 121 lbs. and gaining back 78. I remember the fears and tears along the way with what I was doing. I remember the sore muscles, the tight fitting 5xl shirts, the back pain, the pizza I passed on at work, the hours I spent sweating to workout videos in my room...alone. I remember the days where I had a backslide. The days where I wanted to throw in the towel. The days of having to talk myself into working out!

I remember stepping on the scale for that first time after I saw and felt the pain and shame of 509 lbs., and seeing a smaller number. I remember that little sense of accomplishment I felt when I got under 500 lbs. The joy when old clothes started to fit. I remember doing Insanity at 430 lbs. I remember when I really believed it was possible! I really started to believe in the idea of 299 lbs.! I remember getting in the 300's and that huge sense of relief that I had made it that far. I remember thinking that I had beaten some tremendous odds to get this far...but I would beat even more if I kept going!



I remember thinking I will finish this no matter what! I remember getting stuck around 320 lbs for over a month and really wondering if I was going to make that goal. Feeling sorry for myself because of that. I remember when I hit my one year re-Spark anniversary on May 5th and telling myself that this is NOT how my story would end. I would NOT be the guy who lost a huge amount of weight, only to be complacent and satisfied before he met his goal! I remember picking myself up yet again, and pushing harder! I remember getting to 309 lbs and being ecstatic that I had lost 200 lbs.! I remember a burning desire within me to reach 299 lbs. I remember saying to myself that I would make those last 10 lbs. my bi...well...you know! I remember the support YOU gave me!

I remember when that scale number started with a 2 for the very first time since 2000 when I was still in college!

I remembered those 13 years. What I did to myself. I remembered that I can't ever take that back but I can make it better from this day forward. I remembered to forgive myself for my past mistakes. I remembered to move forward and to try and better myself each and every day! I remembered IT IS WORTH IT! I AM WORTH IT!



Today, remember how far YOU have come. Today, remember why YOU started...

Embrace Your Possibilities

Good Day Sparkville
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSROZZIE 10/12/2013 8:20PM

    emoticon emoticon blog Thanks for sharing the Spark! You ROCK! emoticon

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CHERIONE 10/12/2013 7:59PM

    Wow! Awesome...yay YOU! Thanks for posting and way to go! emoticon

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CLEARNIGHTSKY 10/12/2013 6:31PM

    Thank you SOOOOO much for your blog post!!! I have lost 30 pounds and have over 40 to go . . . I have been feeling discouraged this week, but your AMAZING story is helping me tremendously.

YOU ROCK.

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TEACHEROF4TH 10/12/2013 5:50PM

    Wow! You are an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your story. It was just what I needed to hear today.

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 10/12/2013 4:53PM

    I only remember feeling very very depressed on that day almost four years ago when I started my journey. I was also very very scared. My doctor had ordered an EKG, when I complained of chest pains. He told me, "The EKG seems to show you've already had a heart attack." Holy Cow! That was the day I started my "get healthy" journey. His words still ring in my head. I think he must have misinterpreted the reading, however, because subsequent tests a few weeks later by a cardiologist showed my heart was still ticking along just fine. However, in the past those tests would have given me an excuse to resume my old ways, eating everything in sight and moving as little as possible. For some reason....this time was different.

I often wonder what made that last time different? I had lived my life morbidly obese for over 30 years. Any attempts I made at weight loss were half-hearted and short-lived during those years. I think if anyone could figure what ingredient is there when people have successful long-term weight loss results, including maintenance, they might be a millionaire. I sure don't know what it is. I'm only glad I found it!

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NEWTINK 10/12/2013 4:40PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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REBELBLITZ 10/12/2013 3:48PM

    Amazing and inspirational blog. Even if our numbers are different than others,this rings true to us. We each struggle, have setbacks, and think when will we ever make our goals. You give us hope! You are amazing!

Best wishes for a happy, healthy future!

Cheryl
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SHANNONINAZ 10/12/2013 3:46PM

    Thank you!! I SO needed to read that today!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BELLACUDDLES 10/12/2013 3:33PM

    It is so important to remember how far we have come and NOT beat ourselves up over the past....and keep it movin literally and stay positive!!

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MZADAMS 10/12/2013 2:37PM

  Your words are always amazing and inspiring! You are definitely blessing others by sharing your journey! emoticon

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MOMMY445 10/12/2013 2:08PM

    what a wonderful post. thank you for sharing your story and have a great day!

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ELLELARS08 10/12/2013 1:23PM

  Thank you for your post. I have recently started and the reason I am starting is to avoid a hue weight gain. All of the women in my family in the generation above me have weight problems. I am working now to keep what I have rather than have to fight to get it back. Thank you for reminding me why I am fighting now.

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KML410 10/12/2013 1:08PM

    emoticon This blog brought a tear to my eye because I remember the beginning. I remember the determination that I would do this and never get myself in this mess again! I remember how determined I was and still am, not the same determination as the beginning but still determined. I still have a way to go but I will win! I am worth it! emoticon

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IMAGINE46 10/12/2013 12:32PM

  emoticon blog. emoticon

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RUNNINGYOGINIRE 10/12/2013 10:05AM

  emoticon

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 10/12/2013 7:54AM

    Thank you and yes I do remember

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MAUREENREDUX 10/12/2013 6:26AM

    I am a new Sparker and I hope that in 2014 I can recall my 'I remember's' because that will mean that I have remained on the right path and am succeeding! Thank you for sharing your joys, sorrows, successes and pitfalls. It is powerful to those of us reading it -- I hope that you can get the same strength in return.

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TENNISACE92 10/12/2013 5:42AM

    emoticon

Made me cry but in a good way. Sorry, I'm a bit soppy, today.

Thanks Brad - it's good to remember how far we have come. It's too easy to focus on the negatives.


Louise xx

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AZAOZA2 10/12/2013 5:19AM

    Thanks very much. Your blog will make me emoticon
This blog is the emoticon

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SPEEDY143 10/12/2013 2:10AM

    Oh yes Brad... I remember and that's what keeps me going... Never Forget emoticon emoticon blog emoticon

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IGNITEME101 10/12/2013 1:57AM

    awesome! emoticon

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BLUEJEAN99 10/12/2013 1:49AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JIBBIE49 10/12/2013 1:22AM

    Great to see your blog featured in the Spark Mail.

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ROCKYCPA 10/11/2013 11:07PM

    What an inspiration you are! Thank you for sharing!

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JAMER123 10/11/2013 10:41PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
You have done a fabulous job and have written a great blog that will inspire others each and every day!!

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SAM60SUMTHINK 10/11/2013 10:39PM

    emoticon blog!!

Remembering where we were is sometimes soooo important as we realize the value of where we ARE... and where we will be!!

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ONLYTEMPORARY 10/11/2013 10:04PM

    emoticon

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KATHYSCOLLIES 10/11/2013 10:03PM

    This is an amazing, inspirational blog!

I can identify with so much of what you say here about you felt at the start, with those first pounds gone, with the pitfalls and mountaintops too. I have been far too complacent for far, far too long now, about continuing on this journey to a new, healthier lifestyle.

You have made me really question the hows and whys of what I have been / not been doing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that! I need to re-focus on and reassess my game plan so that I can improve my life.

Hugs,
Kathy

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BANNERMAN 10/11/2013 10:02PM

  Thanks for sharing your story!

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LISA_FRAME 10/11/2013 9:11PM

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4RASCALS 10/11/2013 9:03PM

    emoticon Excellent blog

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A-DAY-AT-A-TIME 10/11/2013 8:54PM

  emoticon

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WILDFLOWERMA 10/11/2013 8:44PM

    Very poignant blog. Thank you for the inspiration. I have felt the same sense of humiliation and failure of regains and backslides, but you are sooo right - pushing forward and never giving up are the tools for victory.

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JOANNHUNT 10/11/2013 8:34PM

    AWESOME. THANK YOU FOR SHARING THAT "REMEMBER"

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KKLENNERT809 10/11/2013 8:16PM

    Your blog brings back alot of old feelings. We should all remember how we feel along the journey. Concentrate on memories and how we now feel better. Thanks for sharing.

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JSEATTLE 10/11/2013 8:09PM

  Yeah, I remember too. Never forget.

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SUEPERWOMAN 10/11/2013 7:24PM

 
Beautifully articulate, as always, and I just cannot get over what a success story you are!! You should be so proud of all of the blood, sweat and tears it took to get you to where you are today. Job well done.

Love, Ginger

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TINYTONI4 10/11/2013 6:58PM

    Thanks for reminding me why we are here! Sometimes when we look back, we can truly see how far we have come.

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MONTREAL12 10/11/2013 6:36PM

  Bravo, well said! emoticon

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SPARKBJOK 10/11/2013 6:15PM

    Well said!

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LCRUMLEY81 10/11/2013 6:12PM

  So very true

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LYNMEINDERS 10/11/2013 5:53PM

    Awesome blog Brad...
a great reminder that we all need especially when we get pi**ed with our progress and want to guive up and give in....
Thanks so much for taking the time to care and remind us why we are here...
You can achieve your total goal what ever that is....

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CORNERKICK 10/11/2013 5:31PM

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SJKENT1 10/11/2013 5:27PM

    Great idea!

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JRRING 10/11/2013 5:11PM

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CHERIJ16 10/11/2013 5:00PM

    Bravo to you for taking this remarkable and inspiring journey. emoticon

Thank you for sharing your story and helping us all! emoticon

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PT.JEFFGIRL 10/11/2013 4:43PM

    Powerful and amazing blog. You fought and you won! Good for you. I am sure so many people have been moved by your journey. emoticon emoticon

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PATRICIAANN46 10/11/2013 4:35PM

  What a wonderful blog, Brad. So very emoticon

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JUSGETTENBY42 10/11/2013 3:33PM

    emoticon

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NONNAOF2 10/11/2013 2:28PM

  Your story is inspiring and so is your determination to be healthy! Thank you for sharing your journey with us! :-)

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