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Thursday, October 10, 2013

What comes to mind when you think back to the start of your journey? Do you remember how you felt back then? Maybe your journey started three months or three years ago, but that isn't important. Do you remember the reasons you started? Do you remember how you felt the first time you stepped on that scale and the number went down for the first time in...FOREVER! Do you remember?

I remember that over 4 years ago when I started at 509 lbs., I didn't think I had a realistic shot at seeing 299 lbs. I remember the overwhelming thought of losing 210 lbs. and the sacrifices it would take to make that goal. I remember thinking that there is NO WAY possible I can do that! Sure, I would give it my best effort and I would probably end up in the 300's somewhere. I would be happy with that because after all, I was 150 lbs. lighter, and that is something, right? I remember all the happy thoughts I had of workouts I had accomplished and pounds I had lost only to be shot down by negative thoughts creeping in my head of how far I had to go!

I remember losing 121 lbs. and gaining back 78. I remember the fears and tears along the way with what I was doing. I remember the sore muscles, the tight fitting 5xl shirts, the back pain, the pizza I passed on at work, the hours I spent sweating to workout videos in my room...alone. I remember the days where I had a backslide. The days where I wanted to throw in the towel. The days of having to talk myself into working out!

I remember stepping on the scale for that first time after I saw and felt the pain and shame of 509 lbs., and seeing a smaller number. I remember that little sense of accomplishment I felt when I got under 500 lbs. The joy when old clothes started to fit. I remember doing Insanity at 430 lbs. I remember when I really believed it was possible! I really started to believe in the idea of 299 lbs.! I remember getting in the 300's and that huge sense of relief that I had made it that far. I remember thinking that I had beaten some tremendous odds to get this far...but I would beat even more if I kept going!

I remember thinking I will finish this no matter what! I remember getting stuck around 320 lbs for over a month and really wondering if I was going to make that goal. Feeling sorry for myself because of that. I remember when I hit my one year re-Spark anniversary on May 5th and telling myself that this is NOT how my story would end. I would NOT be the guy who lost a huge amount of weight, only to be complacent and satisfied before he met his goal! I remember picking myself up yet again, and pushing harder! I remember getting to 309 lbs and being ecstatic that I had lost 200 lbs.! I remember a burning desire within me to reach 299 lbs. I remember saying to myself that I would make those last 10 lbs. my know! I remember the support YOU gave me!

I remember when that scale number started with a 2 for the very first time since 2000 when I was still in college!

I remembered those 13 years. What I did to myself. I remembered that I can't ever take that back but I can make it better from this day forward. I remembered to forgive myself for my past mistakes. I remembered to move forward and to try and better myself each and every day! I remembered IT IS WORTH IT! I AM WORTH IT!

Today, remember how far YOU have come. Today, remember why YOU started...

Embrace Your Possibilities

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