Wednesday, October 09, 2013
How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I think part of a best friendís job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize youíre wrong.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. Iím pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I canít remember the last time I wasnít at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just arenít going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
Iím always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
ďDo not machine wash or tumble dryĒ means I will never wash this Ė ever.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didnít answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.