Wednesday, October 09, 2013
I have tried everything in the past 20 years, starving myself, Jenny Craig, LA Weight loss, Nutrisystems, Weight Watchers & whatever other whim would come that came with that magic pill. I have many videos/dvds : Richard Simmons, Biggest Loser & walking off the pounds… Yes I would do them then fall back into this vicious cycle of over eating none of these things covered my binge eating disorder. In 2010 I had enough I started losing the weight that I had taken on again up to 314.5 pounds mind you I had started back in 2004 at 318.5 so yes the roller coaster ride had hit me. So here I went this time I was just going to exercise and eat right which I did I grilled veggies lean proteins and found ways lost weight than after 23# down I hit a wall I would play with about 5# back and forth but would stay there.
In 2011 I realized I needed help I had realized that my binge eating disorder which stemmed from things in my closet from childhood needed to be tackled so this time I was going to find someone that specialized in eating disorder but that would listen and help me battle my demons it had been 10 years since I had seen anyone and trust was huge as my skeletons where tough. After weeks of doing some homework and reading up on the different eating disorder clinics in my area I picked one and started my journey of extremely hard work in the meantime maintaining weight at times wondering if I would ever get it right. My counselor started having me focus on non scale victories last year while we still pushed through flashbacks, nightmares and anything else that would surface each time I felt like I would get trained and make it through another hurdle. At the beginning of the year I went to a free seminar on a non diet approach towards food, weight and health recommended by my counselor – I went and then signed up for a 14 weeks workshop on intuitive eating it was a group setting and man we tackled more hard work but I came out of it with a new sense of non diet mentality no longer did that number on the scale bother me but so much of what I was doing my races prepping for my half marathon became my focus. Making sure I didn’t reinjure my groin was the other one! In the meantime I got a major blow while at the dr. office my A1C numbers where back up and got put back on meds at this point I realized this was it I hate meds taking them being on them the only way to get off was to eat better.
So with my team in tow – health couch, therapist & dr. all uniting upon my request we came with a game plan that this would be success without the scale and it could be done it wasn’t about weight it was about exercising and fueling my body with the right nutrients. My health coach was my cheerleader and gave me all sorts of great recipes which made me try new things – veggies, different types of carbs that would not spike my blood sugars etc…., my doctor encouraged the exercise & nutrients as did my therapist plus wanted me to remember to work the non scale victories that would all come together plus being kind to myself if I had a bad day no beating myself done just love!!
My break through (blogged previously) was 2 weeks before the half I did a training run through and had a meltdown but in that I was able to get past a big fear of pain! It was two weeks of hemming and hawing in my head that I came out of it victorious after the half. I crushed all of my fears and came out with Personal Records on time and so much more. It was empowering and I have been pushing through since that day. In these six weeks I have dropped almost 15 pounds
I am so committed;
I trained six days a week 15-20 miles per week and get up daily 4 - 4:30 am.
I have really changed how I eat hardly any processed food definitely about 80/20 rule. No deprivation!! I find ways to have my favorites just in different ways!! Tacos – ground turkey in a romaine lettuce top with a little shredded cheddar and avocado is an example. Whole grain oatmeal lots of fruits and veggies & stir fry; have learned its okay to bring stuff home when we eat out.
No food is off limits it’s just not eaten or drunk daily
Being involved in TOPS (take off pounds sensibly club) & Sparks
The formula works feeling the love for myself wanting to get up and do better. I really have evolved in the past 2 years and will continue to push through whatever other hard stuff gets thrown at me. I know I can do anything because I believe and feel it!