Wednesday, October 09, 2013
So I mentioned last blog that I had friends coming to visit this weekend, another couple will be staying with us 3 nights. I am soooo excited and this friend means a lot to me, she basically introduced me to my bf. However, and I feel so selfish for even thinking this, but I am....I am being gracious enough to host them (and we really dont have a lot of space, and she hates cats, so I will be offering them our own bed in the bedroom so she doesn't have to deal with the cat at night) but, she has made plans with another friend in town. She will be going bridesmaid dress shopping with this friend (it is unclear whether she means for herself or her friend, as she is engaged) I will be sad if it is for her bc that means I am not a bridesmaid and maybe its me, but that's not exactly considerate to being staying with a good friend who's not good enough to be a bridesmaid. If it's for her friend it's still a little awkward to be bailing on the people you're staying with to go do something else...then she asked if she could invite her friend to come out with us after.
Now I'm a friendly person, I don't want to say no, but I don't know this person...I want to have fun with my friends, not my friends and some random person I don't know. I'm sure it will be fine and we'll all have fun, but it still kind of annoys me. Maybe I'm being unreasonable.
Not to mention that they are going bridesmaid dress shopping. It's like rubbing it in my face that I'm the only one not engaged. And honestly, it's really starting to get to me that my bf and I are not engaged. I feel like I'm getting insecure about my relationship, and I've been asking my bf a lot...even saying you should know by now whether you want to be with me, and he always says he does, so then WHAT is the hesitation? He can never give me an answer. We have lived together for over 3 years...been together almost 7 years... *sigh*