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    MEGAN6277   39,825
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need some advise

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Its been a week since my husband has quit chewing tabacco. He's been an absolute bear to deal with and has seemed to emotionally pushed us away. We've been through this before he gets so far and can't beat it. He ends up going back to it because he can't handle life without it. It drives me insane that he won't let me help him and he doesn't think I understand the burden he's under. Which isn't completely true because I do. I do as much as I can to help him but I'm at my wits end again and am struggling under my own weight of life and I'm trying so hard to be understanding and giving him the space he needs. I'm not sure how to help him or what to say to him any more. I know he's stressed, I just wish he didn't depend on the garbage to help him through his stress. I'm stressed too but I don't use anything to help me through it that would hurt me. I'm stuck....help! Am I missing something here? Its usually something so simple I don't see it...anyone else ever been through this? Thanks for the advise and help...its greatly appreciated.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LYNNLOSING150 10/9/2013 6:26AM

    I gave up smoking and he probably needs some time alone, it is very hard to deal with breaking this addiction. Just tell him you love him and be there if he needs you, but right now sounds like he needs to go stay in the woods for a few days ALONE. If he goes back to tobacco, don't beat him down, this he something he has to deal with and pressure makes it worse. I tried several times and quit only when at death's door. I hope things get better for you.

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JANTWO 10/9/2013 12:58AM

    CASTIRONLADY said it the best!!!! emoticon

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MPETERSON2311 10/8/2013 7:45PM

    I have not been through it, but my parents stopped smoking when I was a teenager and I had a best friend who I stuck by when he was giving up addiction to narcotics.

IT'S HARD. For you and for them, but you know that.

I wish I had more concrete, research proven advice for you, but I'm no expert and it kind of depends on the person (and even then the day!) sometimes it helped to congratulate and suggest something else to replace the addiction with...

Some days it was helpful to just not say anything at all because odds are they were already thinking about it negatively.

I learned to not let their moods affect mine because two grouchy people cause guilt and anger.

I feel for you.

-HUGS- stay strong

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CASTIRONLADY 10/8/2013 7:44PM

    Well, my best plan with my bear is not to say anything and just BREATH! Can't change him, can't make him do anything! But now you are a different story. You can make choices for you. God bless. This too shall pass.

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