Tuesday, October 08, 2013
It amazingly cliche to decide to get healthier because of a failed relationship, but that is exactly what happened.
Have you ever made someone you whole life, and obtaining them your whole goal that you get lost in them and forget about you? Twisting your whole life around, and LOSING yourself, doing things you said you wouldnt ever do and constantly contradicting yourself.
This was me for 2 years. All for a man (sadface I know!) And only for him to disappear and pretend I never existed. And somewhere I told myself that I loved myself, but that was all a lie.
And around the time of the disappearance, my very best friend in the entire world died. And this is WHEN I LOST MY MIND.
And also when I began to find myself, Lost in a whirlpool of negative thoughts, food, feeling awful and no desire to care about anything, I just stopped caring.
And then I became ANGRY. And from that anger is where I began to start loving myself. And that meant taking care of me.
Im not so angry anymore, but I still use that fire in my belly to motivate me to work out and love myself and here I am 90lbs free!!