Tuesday, October 08, 2013
Hard to believe it's been over a year since I've blogged here. So much has happened since then! Probably the biggest change in my life is...
Jackson Alexander was born on July 5, 2013...10 weeks early! So not surprisingly, my life over the last 4 months has been filled with ups & downs, and lots of stress and sleep deprivation. Fortunately, he came home after 8 weeks in the NICU and is (so far) a healthy little boy.
So now I'm struggling to get back on track. Last summer, I was in the best shape of my life, weighing in the low 160s. I gained about 45lbs with my pregnancy due to a lot of stress eating. Now I'm trying to reign that in, which has been extremely difficult.
I've got 2 weeks left to my maternity leave, and the last several days have been the hardest. Maybe the boredom and monotony has finally kicked in. Maybe I'm stressing over how wholly unproductive this time has been, despite being a wonderful time for me to finally bond with my baby. Maybe I'm stressing about going back to work, and having to buy new clothes because my 10s and 12s won't fit. Kind of bumming hard about that. Maybe I'm anxious because I know that getting back into triathlon shape will be orders of magnitude more difficult because of my mommy obligations. Maybe I'm just in a funk, feeling sorry for myself.
I've been binge eating on anything I can get my hands on. And that must stop so I can set a healthy example for my son.
So today, my goal is to drink my water, track my calories, and go for a walk whenever the urge to binge hits. Today I will make a plan for how to fit workouts in. Today I will forgive myself for having a dirty house, not having the laundry done, and not being the supermom I was expecting of myself. Today I will enjoy my baby, for that my most important job right now.