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    KARENKANDO   4,147
SparkPoints
4,000-5,499 SparkPoints
 
 
October 8, 2013 - Day 114 - A Life Worth Living

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Top of the mornin' to ya sparkers. This girl ain't feeling so sparkly right now. Still fightin' this monster head cold. Ugh! But! I got hope I'm in the home stretch now. Hopefully it won't be long til I'm 100% again. And then I can honestly say, "I did my time" and "I had my turn". Cold cold go away and never come this way again!

Ok, truth time. . .

I am an addict!

I easily addict to anything and everything I love.

Sugar!

Fat!

Food!

Gambling!

Cigarettes!

And more!

It really doesn't matter what it is or how bad it might be for me. If it alters how I feel and I like the feeling, then I'm hooked. What's the saying? "Hook, line and sinker"? Yep, that pretty accurately sums it up!

So why "out" myself? Why not just sit here for the next 5, 10, 15, 20 years and keep pretending to be something I'm not? Because "hiding" is what keeps the addict sick. And I don't want to be sick anymore.

So I have no choice but to tell the truth.

I've been on SparkPeople for 114 days now. It started out innocently enough. I Google searched websites that might support my new "Atkins" lifestyle. And SparkPeople came in at the top of the list. So I clicked on the link and before I even knew what was happening, I was getting hooked.

For me, SparkPeople is like a powerful drug. Or is quickly becoming that way. I spend most all of my free time on SP blogging, reading other's blogs, reading e-mails, sending and receiving goodies, reading articles, watching videos, scoring points and on and on it goes. As I do this, life happens all around me - but! I'm not engaged. Because? Because, I'm knee deep in SP and I just can't pull myself away. I've even missed work because of SP! I know. . . not good, not good at all!

Actually, I haven't missed work "because" of SP. Rather, I have missed work because of my inability to "do" SP in moderation. This, I think, is what makes an addict different from a non-addict. The inability to enjoy life in moderation.

So I'm logging off. At least for now. I'll likely be back at some point, but for now I really "need" to pay attention to and participate in my non-cyberspace life.

I wish each and every one of you the best life has to offer. May you realize every goal you set for yourself whether it be weight-loss or some other dream. And last but not least, may you always, always swim down river.

Thank you for touching my life in a very real and personal manner.

Much love,
Karen



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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WEARINGTHIN 2/11/2014 5:22AM

    I've often felt that the Spark is an artificial way of living life if you do it too much. Maybe you can get hooked on something that you've always wanted to do. I recently read and copied a list from Amazon of the 100 books to read for a well read life. I decided I was going to try and tackle it. (I've read 17 of them in the past.) I think this might significantly cut down on my Spark time. Good luck to you. Glenn

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CYBERCITYSHELL 10/11/2013 12:20AM

    Aww Karen, I just arrived to your blog now. I will sure miss you!!! Well from one addict to another I can understand the need to get unhooked for some time to breathe. Do you still smoke?? I used to but gave up three times. The first time was the hardest but that was one of my addictions.
I lived, breathed and stayed awake for my yahoo 360 site I was on a few years ago. Everything I did offline,my mind was always not far from 360. And when I was home I spent many hours blogging and being there. It had graphics and font styles for the blogs, I spent many hours per day and night there. So I do get it.
Don't forget we are still here if you miss the place. I am also on facebook, and I do prefer here more than facebook. Here is more real with sincerity I think-for me anyway. Although I do use facebook daily as well, not for long periods of time though.
I hope that you find yourself and get to spend a lot of time in the real world. I even wrote a poem about me and my buddy(the computer) back in my 360 days . So I was hooked there, I basically lived in two places. The real world and 360. That is when I got into my soul searching. So even though I spent so many hours there, I found my way back to the real world and I learnt alot about myself as well.
As great as the cyber world is the reality is that we all live in the real world. So, it is good you have decided to spend some time there. Your husband will be happy. Look after yourself, and remember spark people are still here.
Take care Karen, and whatever you do be happy emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


Comment edited on: 10/11/2013 12:24:06 AM

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SUEPERWOMAN 10/9/2013 7:23PM

   
oh Karen. As much as I support you if you are online too much, I hope that you will consider staying in touch with me, even if it's just from time to time, privately.
I will email you my "real" email address. Hope you'll use it.

Love, Ginger

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MCFITZ2 10/9/2013 12:26AM

    Karen I also have had to pull back and focus on my life and the people that are not on the net. Of course when i use a cranky computer it decides for me at times. Success and happiness emoticon and catch you when your back.

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MARLY53 10/8/2013 8:34PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Karen I am sad to see you go, but I totally understand. Three years ago I had to do the same thing with Farmville on Facebook.I got so addicted that it literally took over my life, it was all I tought about. So one day I decided to call it quits, I delete all my Farmville Friends except for 2 and then I said goodbye. I actually walked away from it and never played it again. So if this is what you've got to do then I am all for it even though I am going to miss your wonderful blogs and your sunny positive attitude. I am going to expect you to write that book that you've always wanted to. If you do let me know okay. Good luck Karen, you will be missed. I will emoticon

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WILDKAT781 10/8/2013 4:09PM

    emoticon

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DGFOWLER 10/8/2013 3:33PM

    Karen I am so sorry to see you go. I hope we can keep in touch perhaps on Facebook. I look forward to all of your blogs because you are so down to earth and I need that to keep myself grounded. To say the least SP isn't going to be the same without you here. I will miss our friendship more than I can say... You take care of yourself you hear. emoticon

emoticon Donna



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AWESOMECHELZ 10/8/2013 3:06PM

    I am the same way!! In the 90s, there was a book called "Addictive Personality" which I found very interesting. Type A's are usually more this way plus we can replace ANYTHING for an addiction, like you said. I know my weaknesses and have to keep on my toes with cookies, shopping, over-committing myself, setting TONS of goals to do yesterday, multiple emails for all kinds of stuff, trying to read 10 books at once, helping safe the world, etc., etc. ANYTHING. emoticon And for SP, I set my alarm to get up when it goes off or I can spend HOURS here too. emoticon But all feels great, doesn't it? I hope your day was just wonderful today.
LOVE, CHELSEA emoticon

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KAZZIE531 10/8/2013 1:14PM

  Nooooooooooooooo Karen!!! I'm gonna miss my biggest emoticon . I DO understand about the SP addiction. I will miss reading your blogs every morning with my wake up emoticon I will miss your emoticon emoticon emoticon
I will miss your thought process for the day, your ideas, your sense of humor, your honesty, and loyalty to your friends....But most of all Karen...I will miss YOU!!!
Until you SPARK again....take care Karen, I wish you all the very best. Kaz emoticon emoticon


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CONNIEDETHOMAS 10/8/2013 12:45PM

    Karen...I hadn't noticed how close we are. You joined Sparkpeople
2 days before me. Our begining weight is very close. Our weight
loss is too. WOW

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BAMAJAM 10/8/2013 12:37PM

  Truth time--- I will miss you, Karen, and I'll miss your smiling picture-- that offers everyone an infectious "spark" of joy! Thanks for your blogs, and may life be happy and healthy for you! HUGS AND LOVE-- (and warm smiles) !!

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RHYMESWITHBABY 10/8/2013 11:52AM

    I understand the need to walk away. Sometimes it's the only way. Hope you can break the cycle and manage to come back here again. As others have said, don't forget to check in once in a while. (Like others, I find a timer useful when I am on the computer. And I also make it a point to stay away entirely when I know I am in a time crunch.)

Thanks for all your wonderful posts and great responses to my blogs! You know you will be missed.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DETERMINEDDE 10/8/2013 11:47AM

    Karen, You made a difference to me. I hope you reach your goals and find the right path for you. Best wishes and hope to cross paths again soon! emoticon

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KAREN608 10/8/2013 10:31AM

    I limit my time with the computer, use a timer or alarm clock, so if you come back, you will know to get up and do other necessary things.

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NHES220 10/8/2013 10:25AM

    I understand, it can be addicting. Everything in moderation. Hope you check in from time to time and let us know how you are doing.


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COLLEENROSTE 10/8/2013 8:40AM

    Karen, you will be missed. You will find balance in life again-
check in with SP but set your timer - even addicts need some external forces to help regulate those things that they can't regulate from within. SP is a positive external regulator. If you totally walk away you will be an easy target for all those other addictions.

thank you for the way you have challenged me to think about things in the blogs you have posted. thank you for the time you have taken to read and comment on posts I have made.
Your friendship and love have touched my life in a real way. Never stop being YOU!
emoticon emoticon emoticon Colleen

Comment edited on: 10/8/2013 8:41:54 AM

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DEEGIRL50 10/8/2013 8:20AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
You have really touched my life in the short time that I have known you. I'm going to miss you! I hope you find a treatment for your addictive personality trait and come back to tell us all about it.
Smiles & Hugs, Dee

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MISSUSRIVERRAT 10/8/2013 7:53AM

    Karen, I know exactly what you mean! Best wishes and take care.

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