Monday, October 07, 2013
So a little over a week ago, I was super excited because I hate a date. A date! Yaaaay!
Well come have a laugh at my expense, because it was the date from hell.
So my date and I decided that we'd have a mini cookout. I told him I'd take care of the food, and asked him to bring a bottle of vodka and whatever chaser he'd like to have with it.
So here goes the fun...
Strike 1 - he shows up two hours late.
Strike 2 - when he gets to the cookout area he is HIGH AS A KITE. (disclaimer - I don't have a major issue when people smoke weed, but NOT ON THE FIRST DATE).
Strike 3 - He brought a half pint bottle of new amsterdam vodka, and half of it was gone! Ok, if you're familiar with New Amsterdam Vodka, the 750 ml bottle is generally about $15 so it's not expensive vodka. This probably puts the half pint bottle around $7 or $8. Then you drank half of it before you even got to the date? WTF?!?!?!
There is one final strike which I'll get to in a second - but for the "date" itself, it went okay. He told me his entire life story (and he has waaaaaaaaaay too much baggage for me to deal with, even if he didn't have all these strikes against him). He told me he was nervous, that's why he showed up to the cookout high as a kite (and probably drunk). He also told me I was being "secretive" since I wouldn't spill my guts as well - ahhhh whatever. But now for the final strike...
So when it's time for this fool to leave, he gives me a sob story and asks me for $20 for gas. Am I on punked? I can't make this stuff up...
Back to the drawing board...sigh.
It's kind of funny though. I should write a book about all my bad dating experiences.