Went to church. Am now at Wendy's watching TV on hulu. This is the least stress I've had all week. I am enjoying having a peaceful Sunday.
I learned today at church they are upset I'm I'm stepping down from serving at the bookstore. Or at least say they are. It is unclear to me why, but they did express their appreciation for my service. I promised to pray further about it, just in case I'm missing God; but I have total peace and I am in no way uncertain or second guessing myself about my decision. Sorry, just don't feel loved there, contrary to what they said.
It could be they sense I've come to the conclusion I'm not loved there, and were reaching out to me; either because they really do love me, or, because they want to soothe their conscience and say they tried reaching out to me. I don't believe the first scenario. And I am not God to know what's in their hearts concerning the 2nd scenario.
I believe the part about appreciation but the rest is just words; actions speak louder.
I was unfazed by the meeting & conversation this morning, and my confidence that I'm doing the right thing was unshaken. Yes I will pray about it, but as things stand now I'm still stepping down. I guess this means I am, in a large part, over the hurt from the last people I stayed with this summer, and the (other) church campus's participation in that situation. [At least I've accepted it and started to move on, if "over the hurt" is inaccurate.] In any case I'm takng my confident reaction to the meeting this morning as a positive I didn't realize before, I'm emotionally stronger than I knew, and I'm moving on.
Yesterday I worked 5a -1:30p at the day job. Just ridiculous, that we have to come in at 4:45am on Saturdays, or, not at all. Completely ridiculous. But I am banking the overtime while it's offered.
Afterwards I was making an errand stop and just happened to go by Kmart's sidewalk sale, with large "Free" signs. Turns out it was BOGOF on already-reduced summer clearance. And when I went inside I found more inside, including one really good buy on jeans that had nothing to do with summer clearance. So I got a pair of jeans for $5, a $30 bookbag I'll use for the gym for $5, 4 tops for $4, 4 tops for $5, and 2 pair of multi colored tennis shoes, purple and pink and neon yellow, that match some of the clothes. "Neon" colored clothes and shoes have been popular for 2 years now, but these are my first "neon fad" purchases. I'm typically NOT into fads.
I bought some things with the gym in mind. Some of the tops I'll definitely work out in. I've decided after I pay for insurance, tags, and overdue car maintenance, then I'm going to join the gym I found for $19 a month. I was told it was $10 ($120 yr), but when I checked into it was $19. Double. I've had some time to mull over the expense of $240 instead of $120. If there is money left, I'm going to do it. Having a hot shower all winter long, will be worth it for that, alone. I know they have treadmills and bikes there. I can start out 15 mins on each, and then work my way up from there. Or however much I can take in the beginning - 10 mins on each, 30 mins on each, etc.
After Kmart yesterday I had to sleep some because I was falling asleep at the wheel. From getting up at 4 in the morning for overtime. I did some errands later that night, but didn't get my hair colored or my laundry done, so I have to do those this afternoon. But the unexpected shopping spree at Kmart was fun. And I am feeling very laid back and peaceful today.
A good weekend, even tho I only have a day and half off, it was great after the week I had.
Hope you all have a wonderful week, my dear SparkFriends. Enjoy the Journey!