Sunday, October 06, 2013
I joined a new spark team today called "http://www.sparkpeople.com/my
p?gid=51755" and I feel they can be really helpful because evenings are my downfall. I introduced myself to them with: I don't know who sent this link to my email but thank God you did.. This is me in a nutshell. I wake up every morning with good intentions. I drink my coffee, my oat meal or my shake. I drink my water, I snack on fruit and veggies and feel good about myself but by night fall. i start my stroll from the kitchen to the bedroom. Chips or popcorn, ice cream Little Debbie whatever. I go grocery shopping and buy healthy stuff, husband goes comes back with chips 4 different kinds of ice cream cookies, and 4 boxes of Little Debbie Snack cakes. He knows I am like a dope fiend when it comes to having this stuff in the house but continues to do this. I had lost 28 pounds not I have gained that back plus close to 300 pounds again.(Highest was 308). At 5"1 I can barely walk to bathroom without huffing and puffing. I know ihave no support system, If I only had someone in my area with this struggle to go to pool or ride the bike at the gym because of arthritis I need low impact exe. It is a mighty struggle for me. Especially when it seems I'm being sabotaged in my own home. I am beginning to get bouts of depression when I want to mop or clean my room but I am out of breath I am sitting and trying to do what I can. I do not want to get bed ridden and I fear I am headed that way if I can't get a grip....t's not good for me I know my health is in danger but I continue to do this night after night. This sums it up in a nut shell. I hope I can get the support that I am expecting because this is what I need. I have not. I will discribe my relationship with my husband in another blog and I think you will get a better picture of my life but for the time being it is my life and I am dealing with it...Wish me luck I am adding journaling, blogging, scriptures into my new determination program.