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Advice I wish I had heard a long time ago...

Sunday, October 06, 2013

I heard something today I wished I had considered over 16 years ago...

When you decide to marry someone make sure you can live with their faults. For example if he/she leaves the top of the toothpaste and it drives you crazy - will it still bother you in 20 years or will you have learned to accept it.

My patience is gone - I believe if a spouse is taking a day off from work they should mention it to the other, going to NYC for the day it would be nice to be invited instead of finding out after the other has left with friends, that we each should do more than come home and sleep on the couch, if you are going out at night there should be a note left or at least a text sent. All of this without being told what difference does it make it does not matter what I do when you are not with me.

I should have paid more attention to that feeling that something was not right - the fact that he bought shirts instead of doing wash, that it was ok to stay out until hours of the night and not got to work,that there were always dirty dishes in the sink and the apartment was a disaster, as well as different things that were said that I felt uncomfortable about - like making fun of where I grew up.

Remember if it bothers you now it will probably drive you crazy in 5, 10, 15 or 30 years.

I give credit to all those that have been happily (or mostly happy) married it is a lot of give and take on both sides. It takes teamwork.

Apologies for the rant. Next blog will be more positive.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CANDOK1260 10/6/2013 8:22PM


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LADY_JAE 10/6/2013 3:31PM

    Truer words were never spoken!! My hubby & I were night & day different!! BUT, it worked in our favor!! Not to say we did not have issues the first 10 or so years, we DID!!!! But, marriage takes work for BOTH of you!!!! When I got married at 17yo, I thought it was right.....WRONG!!!! He got a friend of mine pregnant in the first 6mos we were married!! Stayed married 3yrs, but separated!! Second marriage seemed really good & was for 6yrs!! He was a Viet Nam vet with major issues that he covered well!! When he stabbed me, that was that!! So I decided to stay single!!!! Seven yrs later I met Jim, the love of my life!! We were married 30yrs when he died!! We had our ups & downs, but we BOTH worked on it!! He had some changing to do & so did I!!!! Just don't waste years of your life in a bad relationship!!!! Only you know if it can work or not!! Don't ever let anyone abuse you.....emotionally, mentally, or physically!!!! Life is too short!!!! emoticon

Good luck on this challenge & welcome to the Cats Team!!!!
Hugzz ~ Jae emoticon

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KNYAGENYA 10/6/2013 2:52PM

    emoticon This is true. I hope to learn how to deal with some things but I'm nit holding my breath.

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