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    PRINCESS_SOFI   12,350
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints

Medifast Day 88 -- Bedridden

Sunday, October 06, 2013

I cheated yesterday for the first time in a month and a half. I write to you from my bed which I will not leave today. Around 1:50 PM I felt the need to drink. I haven't felt this need since August 10th. I did what any normal person on here would do -- I fought it. First I stopped what I was doing and looked at my before photos. I read my blogs and looked at my inspirations. I read other people's blogs. I put on my shoes and went running. I finished week 2 of C25K. I sat and thought of the consequences. I thought of the scale and weighed myself. And I still wanted to get completely drunk. As a last resort I went on Facebook to talk to my friend who was "sick" last weekend. She wasn't sick. I saw photo after photo of her at parties and restaurants eating greasy looking food and giant pints of beer. I saw her and she was never on any low carb diet and neither were the people she was with. She never wanted to make cauliflower pizza. I had alienated my friend and I don't think she will hang out with me anymore.

Around 5 PM after hours of fighting a losing battle I was at the store buying a large bottle of wine. I didn't even think about food. Food was never my issue and even now I still don't want food. For dinner I ended up eating a veggie burger on a whole wheat bun and onion rings. My stomach doesn't hurt this morning and I never overate or made myself sick. I tasted the wine and it tasted kinda bad. I had lost my taste for it apparently. Kept drinking and then after I ate my dinner I felt this burst of energy. Oh man it was amazing. I felt more alive in that moment than I had in almost 2 months. I don't feel alive on Medifast. I feel like I am slowly dying each and every day.

Then around 7 I was completely drunk. It was awesome. I don't regret it at all. I was bursting with energy and everything around me was sparkling. My husband and I had our amazing sexy times and I just wanted to keep going. I played video games, I watched a movie, I ran around the house, I played with my cats, and I sang all The Little Mermaid songs. Then I really don't remember anything at all. No idea when I passed out.

This morning my head hurts to the 9th degree. I can barely open my eyes and I am dehydrated. I don't regret yesterday and I am smiling still. I lived yesterday. The trip to Texas is still cancelled. My friend is still a jerk. I still don't want to eat real pizza. I'm still finishing this crazy Medifast journey.

79 days left.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
XIAOLINMEI 10/7/2013 3:30AM

    That girl is not your friend. I admire you for achieving this weight loss result so fast. I haven't tried Medifast, but since it's healthy food, I guess it's not very tasty. But you are not dying every day slowly, you are building your new you and you look great where you are at right now! I m happy to see that drinking didn't bring you down. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WHITNEYLD 10/6/2013 1:17PM

    I drank a bottle of wine last night, too. I didn't track it. Was that the big bottle you drank? I had a small bottle but I wasn't wasted. I guess I drink too much and it doesn't affect me so much anymore, but I don't know how my tolerance could be up so fast.

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JAZZYGF 10/6/2013 12:16PM

    wow she was not your friend and not sure why she posted things you thought she was doing
I suffer depression and about 3 years ago wanted to die. Two sisters death 10 months apart, money troubles charge cards maxed out hubby didn't know my kids stabbed in the back for what ever reason and i just felt this is the end

Now therapist now once a month at first every two weeks. Hubby and I signed papers for bankruptcy and almost 9 months that will end. I have tried everydiet in the world at 68 some you probably never heard of.
What keeps me going is a meeting once a week low budget close to my house women suffering weight problems ,medical problems. TOPS is the name and they have been around forever.
Medifast is expensive so is nutrisystem I did nutrisystem but as time went on did not work.
Now 14 days with atkins not much weight but those inches are coming off
doing this until friday then trying cabbage soup diet 7 days
Lets me friend real friends
Don't take another drink, grab a diet that makes a big difference. Try atkins you can eat alot of fatty foods but 20-25 on carbs. Its not easy, life is not easy but look at your life as one big step get through each day and at night you made it was not easy but you did it.

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