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    NIKIZ628   41,872
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Why I need to put ME first.

Friday, October 04, 2013

I know the title of this blog may come off a little selfish/self-centered.

But if you know me, you know that I NEVER put myself first. My priorities are my child and my husband. Their needs are always before mine. Always.

I stay up late to make sure the house is cleaned/laundry is done/etc.
I never spend money on myself. If I have the extra money, it goes to buy stuff for my son (whether he "needs" it or not) and to my husband (afterall, he is the one actually working for a paycheck). I literally own 1 pair of jeans because I have not purchased clothing for myself in over a year. I haven't had my hair cut/colored in 8 months because I can't see spending the money on myself.

I am not complaining. These are things I have CHOSEN for myself. But over the last week, I have really realized that sometimes I need to make myself a priority.

For one, I think my stress level would diminish immensely. I have literally just felt burned out for awhile now and its affecting the quality of mother/wife I am. I feel like I am disengaged from my son throughout the day, even when I am trying hard to give him my attention.

I have been picking fights with my husband for no reason. Sometimes I feel more like a roommate then a spouse. (my second goal will be to put our marriage as a priority, we haven't gone on a kid free date in MONTHS. My son is 3 now and I can count the times we have gone out kid free on 1 hand).

I am just going to have to remind myself:

It's okay to buy that cute top if you really like it. You aren't a bad mom for not spending the money on your son.

It's okay to skip the dishes for a little bit. They aren't going anywhere.

It's okay to pop in your headphones and go on a solo walk. You need to recharge.

It's okay to want to lose weight and get healthy. You owe it to yourself and your family.

It's okay to want to improve yourself and make you important because YOU ARE. And if you aren't 100%, how can you continue to give 100%?

Has anyone else had this issue? Please tell me I am not crazy lol.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
NIKIZ628 10/7/2013 9:43AM

    Thank you all for your support! I truly think it will make a big difference to show some self love, even if its only an occasional thing!

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SHELL1400_85 10/7/2013 9:14AM

    I know exactly how you feel. I usually feel guilty if I buy something for myself instead of my son. But I have to come to realized that I need to do something nice for myself every once in a while. That doesn't make us bad moms, that makes us human. Moms give and give and give because that is what a mother does, but it is important to realize that we need time to ourselves and things to make us feel special every now and again. Don't feel bad if you buy yourself a new pair of jeans or something once in a while, you need to reward yourself for all the hard work you do!

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SPARKLINGHOPE 10/5/2013 9:28AM

    You are normal IMO. I learned the lesson later after kids were older. :)

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MRS.DOYLE 10/5/2013 2:37AM

    You are absolutely right. After all, if you don't love yourself how can you expect anyone else to love you? There are some things only you can do for yourself. Being as fit and happy as you can be shows you respect yourself and everyone around you.

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EBERKSHIRE86 10/4/2013 5:17PM

    Your not crazy! I think this is a common mom problem :) I know that I seriously just had this discussion with my fiancÚ I haven't had a day to myself in 3 yrs since my oldest was born! Everywhere I go they go too. The only time I take off work is if someone is sick or for doctor appointments. I spontaneously took off work in the middle of the week last week dropped the kids of at my MIL's and told her I'd see them at the end of the day went home and walked right past the sink full of dishes stepped over the toys all over the floor put on my pjs watched 6 hrs of vampire diaries and ate junk was wonderful. Sometimes we just need to take a day to ourselves to do nothing to take a shower without little fingers under the door to read a book or take a nap it doesn't make us bad mom's it makes us human. So take the time for yourself, you'll feel better for it and in turn you'll be a better mom and spouse emoticon

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