Friday, October 04, 2013
I know the title of this blog may come off a little selfish/self-centered.
But if you know me, you know that I NEVER put myself first. My priorities are my child and my husband. Their needs are always before mine. Always.
I stay up late to make sure the house is cleaned/laundry is done/etc.
I never spend money on myself. If I have the extra money, it goes to buy stuff for my son (whether he "needs" it or not) and to my husband (afterall, he is the one actually working for a paycheck). I literally own 1 pair of jeans because I have not purchased clothing for myself in over a year. I haven't had my hair cut/colored in 8 months because I can't see spending the money on myself.
I am not complaining. These are things I have CHOSEN for myself. But over the last week, I have really realized that sometimes I need to make myself a priority.
For one, I think my stress level would diminish immensely. I have literally just felt burned out for awhile now and its affecting the quality of mother/wife I am. I feel like I am disengaged from my son throughout the day, even when I am trying hard to give him my attention.
I have been picking fights with my husband for no reason. Sometimes I feel more like a roommate then a spouse. (my second goal will be to put our marriage as a priority, we haven't gone on a kid free date in MONTHS. My son is 3 now and I can count the times we have gone out kid free on 1 hand).
I am just going to have to remind myself:
It's okay to buy that cute top if you really like it. You aren't a bad mom for not spending the money on your son.
It's okay to skip the dishes for a little bit. They aren't going anywhere.
It's okay to pop in your headphones and go on a solo walk. You need to recharge.
It's okay to want to lose weight and get healthy. You owe it to yourself and your family.
It's okay to want to improve yourself and make you important because YOU ARE. And if you aren't 100%, how can you continue to give 100%?
Has anyone else had this issue? Please tell me I am not crazy lol.