Isn't that the essence of Sparkpeople? Aren't we all trying to get that momentum going in a positive direction? I am so grateful to Chris Downie and his postit notes... (If you've read The Spark you know what I am talking about.)
For the first time in a long time yesterday, I felt in control of my eating. I am really hoping that it will carry me through to losing the 10+ pounds I have put back on. I know that weight loss/maintenance is a journey. That quitting and starting over with healthy habits is really just an illusion. Like the rest of life, the road to good health is really a chain of decisions, each one affecting the next. At the end of the day we go to bed either thinking I had a really great day or I will have a better day tomorrow.
I am a gastric bypass graduate. As many people know, this surgery is not magic, it requires a lot of work to lose and keep the weight off after the initial "honeymoon" phase (being able to eat very little) fades. But during that time period when I was literally relearning how to eat from scratch... just as an infant progresses from liquids, to soft foods, to solids... I had an important aha moment.... For a very short time I was blessed to have food, just be food... a substance required to nourish my body. For the first time in my life, food was not the center of attention, it couldn't be, I couldn't eat that much. And wonder of wonders... I didn't have the compulsion to eat for the sake of eating that I'd felt all my life. I could go out to Friendly's with friends, watch them eat icecream and have a cup of coffee, enjoying their company. That made me realize that food was not the center of the universe.
Now that probably seems perfectly normal to many people, but it is not for me. I routinely engaged in a pasttime that my boyfriend called "romancing the food." I would describe food with such sensual detail that if it were porn, it'd be rated XXX. LOL. I hear people do this now or describe food as the center of an activity and I have to stop myself from doing the same because I never did truly break free of that habit. I really want to be able to have what happened during that time I could not eat anything I wanted be the norm for me. I am still having to work at it.
Yesterday I ate really well and even prepared some foods to have today and tomorrow. Then I went out to a bar to watch the Bills game. I enjoyed the atmosphere and even had half a pint of beer, but I didn't feel the need to finish the pitcher bc it was so refreshing or even to sample the chicken fingers and fries my friend was eating. It was a major NSV for me and I hope to repeat the scenario today when I go to the bar again to hear my stepdaughter perform.
I try to keep the mantra in my head... "It's just food." My stepdaughter often laughs and replies, "Yeah, freakin' delicious food!" My other trick is to tell myself that "It will still be there tomorrow." If it fits into my calorie allowance for the week and I really want a small piece, I can have it, but it will still be there tomorrow so I don't have to eat such a large portion that it blows my calorie count for the week. I have to remember to make good decisions at least 80% of the time.
Now I'm going out to have a nice run in the refreshing October rain. I want to keep that streak going too. "We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day." So far this week I've followed my exercise calendar. To be a runner... all I have to do is run... easy peasy. I can do this. And if I can do this, you can too.