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Straying From The Path

Friday, October 04, 2013

I wandered away. I haven't recorded my food for days. I haven't officially exercised in I don't know how long...and I've paid the price for it. My jeans are a little more snug. My head's a little cloudy. My skin isn't glowing. I'm a mess really.

You should have seen the food I was eating! I have a friend who is a Nutrition professor, and she says, "There are no GOOD foods or BAD foods," but I think she may be lying about that. I definitely ate some bad food.

You are what you eat, Sparkers...and you don't want to be the food I ate. I don't want to be the food I ate either.

So, it's back to the grind. I think I can get back to the straight and narrow now.

This whole last month has been filled with stupid family drama, work drama, and school drama. My little brother, who I mentioned before, is still struggling with anxiety and eating disorders. It was time to sign him up to go back to college. He fought me tooth and nail until last night. He gave in, and we're signing him up this afternoon. My coworkers are, as usual, a neurotic and vicious bundle of craziness. The coworker who makes snide comments about my weight, has been making a big deal about how she's riding in this big bike race this week...and how she's so tired from training, and how I'm so lucky to be able to eat whatever I want and be lazy.

I took a class this semester, as I sometimes do. It's a studio watercolor class. I figured it would be fairly relaxing. NO. It's like art on crank. I feel like when I walk through the door, suddenly I'm thrown into a blender, and then spit out after 2.5 hours. It's good for me to be in a demanding class. I have an art degree, and I tend to rest on my laurels quite a bit, BUT dang...this class is insane. And there's one student who absolutely gets under my skin. She's smug. I hate smug. She's also mean to the other students. I don't tolerate that nonsense. So, I feel like it's my job to keep her from making other people cry.

To top it all off, my husband is still all wrapped up in his aggro attitude.

So, there's just no port in a storm.

These are the things that drove me to make excuses about eating crap and not exercising. I'm done with that now. It's time to get back to work.

Be strong Sparkers...even if you don't want to!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow - you are surrounded with some not-so-nice people right now. Not sure how I'd handle the bike-riding co-worker. How incredibly rude of her to make any comments to you whatsoever about your weight.

    I am the quiet type until something makes me snap. I have a feeling you are somewhat that way, too. So for you, if you make the mean art lady cry, I bet you do it in a very calm way with a smile on your face. Best wishes with that.

    Overall though, I know how that can all throw you into an eating poorly spiral. So try to fill yourself with foods that are good for you so you are healthy enough to deal with the ugly stresses surrounding you right now.
    1596 days ago
    So true, ICEDEMETER. Everyone around me has been so demanding lately, that I've barely had time to breathe.

    I need to take care of myself!

    Also, eventually I will snap with the mean chick. It is coming. The funny thing about her is, on the first day she said that she had gotten in trouble in her last studio class, because she was too mean. You'd think that would have been one of those life lessons that would have taught her to change her ways...but NO! Instead, it inspired her to be "more honest with people."

    1599 days ago
    Is it wrong that I'm smirking at your "relaxing" art class turning out to be just one more storm of aggravation? That has such lovely dark irony, that I can't help but appreciate it!

    Sounds like you've been focusing all of your time and energy on the rest of the world, and that it's time to get selfish. Always keep in mind that others' opinions and actions are not your responsibility (and remind them of that when you need to).

    I've missed you around here, and hope that you manage to ground yourself again and settle in to taking care of *you* first. Do the things that make you feel good - eating mostly right, getting in some walking, killing some aggravation on the video games... and then it'll be easier to figure out which other parts of the world are worth your time and energy.

    From my perspective, it's way easier to be "strong" when it's making you "happy"... and it seems to usually work out that outside aggravations aren't nearly as much of an issue when I'm happy with myself.

    Strong and happy thoughts to you!

    (PS - the mean chick in class might at least give you some entertainment if you let some fun sarcasm loose...)
    1599 days ago
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