Friday, October 04, 2013
My negative self-voice, which I affectionately call "the Sh*t Talker", is constant when I find myself in highly stressful, non-spiritual situations. Often times it is when I haven't taken the necessary steps to get centered with my God and my universe. As a person in recovery, I have often equated the negative self-voice with being the voice of ego or the voice of the disease, as it is the voice that tells me I am better than and less than, often at the same time about the same thing. It is the voice that tells me that my responsibilities can wait, now is the time for fun and/or comfort (eating, smoking, drinking, etc.).
I have found a remedy, somewhat of an ability to turn the volume down. I think the voice is still there, just not audible and/or not so negative. This remedy is through self-appraisal, admission of defects, making amends and through prayer and meditation, with the emphasis on prayer and meditation. When I catch my breath, say my prayer (non-selfish prayers of course), and get quiet long enough to hear the answers, the negative voice volume falls dramatically, even to the point of being inaudible.