October 4, 2013 - Day 113 - A Life Worth Living
Friday, October 04, 2013
Good morning Spark Family. How are each and every one of you on this beautiful fall Friday? Are we all happy, happy, happy that Friday found its way to us once again this week? I know I sure am! It hasn't been a particularly hard week at work, but the hubby and me have had the creepin' crud for over a week now and we are both just exhausted from all the coughing and whatnot. So bring on the weekend where I can lounge around in my jammies or stay in bed all day if that's what I need to do to feel better. Ah, I long for good health or at least mediocre health minus this monster of a cold that's moved in and taken me hostage!
So I got this burning question I'm just dying to ask. Ok, ok, not dying, dying - but . . . figuratively speaking. I know you know!
So here it is. My burning question. . .
What is love? In terms of your five senses, how would you describe love? I realize that love may be different depending on the relationship. I know that parents love their children differently than spouses love one another. But at the root of it all, don't you believe there's some common denominator or something that makes love, love regardless of who's involved?
Personally, I don't really know how to describe love. It's a feeling that I recognize when it's present in my life. But I can't seem to find the words to describe it well enough that another person might understand the feeling. Can you? Have you ever tried before? Think about it for a moment. If you had to describe love so that even the hardest of hearts could understand, what would you say?
I am fortunate in that I have felt the love of a mother and father. Selfless love that provided for me even in adulthood. I have felt the love of a brother. A sibling's love that understands what makes me tick probably better than anyone else in the world. I have felt the love of a husband. A man who would move heaven and earth if he believed that's what I needed. I have felt the love of other family and friends. A more distant love perhaps, but love all the same. Yes, I am fortunate that I have felt and experienced love first hand.
And yet. . .
I can't describe it.
This morning I did what I normally do. I climbed out of bed and ran. . . or at least moved very quickly. . . to the bathroom. I then made myself a beverage and sat down at my computer to log on to SparkPeople. It's routine at this point. I don't always have enough time to reach out to all my spark friends and blog and read articles and spin wheels and whatnot, but I try and get at least a little "spark" in my life each and every morning. So this morning was very much like the last 113 mornings.
Except. . .
This morning was different.
This morning, I FELT love. Please don't get me wrong here. I have felt love - alot of love in fact - here on SP for many, many days. But this morning? This morning was different somehow. I received some e-mails and spark goodies and other messages that were about as heart-felt and real as anything I have ever experienced. So when I say that I FELT love - I mean literally. As if a spark friend were standing in my living room giving me a great big hug and pouring their heart out to me. The love I felt this morning didn't feel "cyberish". What do I mean by that? I guess what I mean is. . . when we love one another via the internet, we put our best foot forward. We can easily hide the not so perfect parts of ourselves and be genuinely. . . not genuine. Does that make sense? Maybe not. What I am trying to say, I suppose, is this morning, I felt love in a genuine, human, less than perfect, a little raw around the edges, authentic way. And it was magical! My heart did things it hasn't done in . . . well. . . . quite some time. It skipped a beat.
So thank you. You know who you are. You know what you did. I love you back and I will cherish you always.
And if you can tell me how to describe love?
Happy Friday all. I wish each of you a day full of genuine happiness, wellness and above all. . . love.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
I LOVE this LOVE blog (and the responses too)!!
Love is caring about another person and also yourself. Love is seeing the best in another person and letting them know what you see. Love is fun!!! Love is sharing your soul, feelings, time, heart, and dreams. Love is joyous. Love is forgiving. Love is the meaning to life. Love is wanting to hear what the other person has to say and really listening. Love is being able to tell the other person anything.
I've always told my son that you can love a person even if you don't see them. So yes, we can love our SP family. They are part of our journey and part of our hearts.
964 days ago
The bug you got is all over the place! I have friends in different states with the same thing. I sure hope you are on the mend and your husband too.
I read some years ago that the word love is a VERB which implies action. Don't you love that?! So LOVE is an action verb of sharing compassion, sacrifice, joy, tears, humor, fun, a listening ear, non-judgement, and hope with those around us. God bless you, my friend, and may you feel my love for you as my Spark friend.
965 days ago
Wow, deep post. I'm glad you are feeling love.
Love confuses me. Sometimes, even when I don't feel it, I know it's there. Other times I wonder if it is there. I like it when I feel it. I do believe in unconditional love, and am lucky to have experienced it from two sources in my life. Unfortunately, they weren't my parents, as I wished. However, at least there was love... as long as I behaved! lol
965 days ago
Love is a hard to describe kind of thing. It is there when we can't see it, we can't hear it,yet we can feel it and feel touched by it.
There are many different kinds of love and relationships that create them. I love my children more than anyone else on this earth.
I loved and love my mum although she hasn't been around for over thirty years. And I have a huge gap left from where she should be and have been.
I love my brother and my sister, and their children, and even their spouses.
Also my friends I love.
I love people in general, but in more an "I care for and about" other people.
I have fallen in love to a person I hadn't met on the internet. So I know that is possible. Although, it may have been different if we ever met, because when you are "in love" that involves many different aspects. Including things you can't tell without meeting a person or being around them for a period of time.
I have been in love a few times, and that again is a very different kind of love. I have even fallen out of love. So that I now wonder after my longest ever romantic relationship was five years and I fell out of love with him. Any other relationships we broke up way before falling out of love. So I actually wonder if I could be in love again and whether it would last. Although maybe after many many years with a person you love them in a different way, instead of being in love with them. I have yet to find that out.
When you love someone it is an emotional thing. You care about them, and value them as a person. You want what is best for them. You like spending time with them.
If you are in love with them, then it is a strong feeling of love. And you want to be with them as much as possible. If you break up with them, it hurts like hell. And that takes time to recover from. But I know that you can fall in love again.
966 days ago
Karen you give love here on SP and I have benefitted. Thanks. To me love is visible in natures beauty, in faces, and great words in print. Audible love is a laugh, a sob, a prayer, a spoken kindness or respect. The smell of love is where memories flourish from scents we associate from our happy past. The taste of love is in a deep kiss. The touch of love is soothing and caring sensation from the warmth of another's hand. These are how I'd describe the senses of love. I would also add the psychic sense, the intuition or knowing feeling or thought of another's true intent can show love or any number of emotions.
Great blog. You always bring me joy.
966 days ago
Karen - I know the feeling of Love of Sparkpeople! I think that is why I am addicted to SP - the love I get from all of you is intoxicating! It is a different kind of love than I feel with my dear hubby James - and additionally it is different from what I feel for my Daddy...but it is a physical feeling in my chest and brain when I get encouragement from all my friends here. So I am probably not any good at describing it, but I do know it when I feel it!
966 days ago
I have to admit, I do not believe in unconditional love. I think that we are all just people, broken each in our own way, and only God can offer unconditional love.
Love to me is the deepest feeling of connection there is. Love is the closest thing to Heaven that we have, on Earth. Love is really all we need.
966 days ago
The greatest example of pure love is from our loving God in Heaven, our Creator. His ultimate gift for us, death of His Son by crucifixion-- for our redemption & salvation--- is LOVE.. ..So loving each other is about practicing the virtues of Jesus...
966 days ago
Love is nothing more than a four letter word. It is the emotion behind the word that matters. For me it is the feeling I get of being all fluttery when I see my special man, or the feeling of being needed by my family. There are so many variations of the word itself that is often hard to describe and for each individual it will be different because we are different.
What a great question to ask us... ~ Donna
966 days ago
Hi Karen! I have a short bit written by a psychologist named Philippa perry that was helpful for me re getting down with describing love. I hope this helps you too. % )
"Unlike us, the ancients did not lump all the various emotions that we label "love" under the one word. They had several variations, including:
Philia which they saw as a deep but usually non-sexual intimacy between close friends and family members or as a deep bond forged by soldiers as they fought alongside each other in battle.
Ludus describes a more playful affection found in fooling around or flirting.
Pragma is the mature love that develops over a long period of time between long-term couples and involves actively practicing goodwill, commitment, compromise and understanding.
Agape is a more generalized love, it's not about exclusivity but about love for all of humanity.
Philautia is self love, which isn't as selfish as it sounds.
As Aristotle discovered and as any psychotherapist will tell you, in order to care for others you need to be able to care about yourself.
Last, and probably least even though it causes the most trouble, eros is about sexual passion and desire. Unless it morphs into philia and/or pragma, eros will burn itself out.
Love is all of the above. But is it possibly unrealistic to expect to experience all six types with only one person. This is why family and community are important."
• Philippa Perry is a psychotherapist and author of Couch Fiction
Enjoy your weekend!!!
966 days ago
As I grew up and experienced some not very loving people I erected high strong walls. Yes that is plural. Protection from hurt (my extra pounds are probably a physical one in part). As a person can be trusted they are allowed in one wall at a time. No not consciously but somewhere in the back where emotions rule . Love is letting something inside those defenses. Laying yourself open to being loved and trusting that you won't be deliberately hurt . It is feeling accepted, peace, protective of, protected by, accepting and accepted, warm, embraced, cared for, respected, and so much more.
Here's to healthy positive loving relationships.
966 days ago
Karen I am very blessed with this marriage.
I can honestly say that Bob loves me unconditionally.
You hear about it bur how often does one actually
see it I'm a spouse. I don't believe either of us had
it in our first marriage. Bob keeps mentioning that
he wished we would have found each other forty
years ago. There are times I feel much love from
my spark friends. You are one of those special
966 days ago
I would have said love is beyond words, but I found some words. They are just not very comprehensible.
Love is when you are inside your head and you are trying to find the end, the edge, where YOU end and OTHER begins, and you approach the object of your love and realize it is OTHER, and you wish it were YOU.
966 days ago
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