Friday, October 04, 2013
It's totally the opposite of what we're "supposed" to do. With what works best. I thought I was all done buying clothes a little tight, for after I lose the weight.
So why did I do that anyway today, and feel better for it? Will I really come to regret my impulsiveness? Only time will tell.
I was feeling great, getting the last out of my vegetable garden and bought more fruit trees to plant with high hopes. And it was exactly that high hope feeling that motivated me. Why shouldn't I have something fun, something classy, to look forward to wearing as the pounds come off? It just seems fun to have that to look forward to. I didn't go seeking it out. I was at my favorite haunt, the thrift store, and it just so happened a few of the clothes shouldn't have been there, in my size section, but they were, and something about them tickled me. The shoes fit, most of the tops fit, and a few of them didn't. Not yet. Or maybe I'll pass them on to a friend. But I loved to imagine wearing something a little dashing, no matter how impractical, then my current more stodgy ("practical") wardrobe. Maybe nobody but me will even know about those dressy high heels hiding under my bed except me. But I still like having them stashed away "just incase" the mood strikes to wear something other than my usual flats, just because I can. It didn't overextend my purse, and, shucks, maybe I should wear things just for the fun of it more often.
Does this have anything to do with health? Yes! That it's OK to do nice things for myself, I don't always have to save on everything, always be so cautious. Maybe I need to transfer my impulsiveness from eating to living a little larger, a little less cautiously. Maybe it's not just OK, maybe it's a good thing to indulge myself more often.
It's a bit odd posting this in public. I know myself, and I could imagine worrying someone who said this stuff was just transferring overeating to something else. But now it's time to relax and not worry about that either, and toddle off to sweet dreams.