Thursday, October 03, 2013
I have put off writing this because I didn't want to disappoint my self yet again but, and this is a BIG BUT.... I am amazed with how far I have come. If I don't lose one more pound I will be in the happiest place I've been in a long, long time. I started (and started again) this adventure at 216 pounds. Today I am 153 and counting. My goal is 135 but man am I in a good place today. It hasn't been easy. I put down the vodka bottle, the late night mindless snacking, the making excuses why I didn't exercise that day. But that is all over ! I don't know exactly what happened, but I'm glad it did. I work out daily. I go to the gym, I do yoga, I am back to running. I haven't been able to run for years. I sometimes cheat with a snack or two, after all I am only still a fat girl inside this incredibly shrinking body. When I cheat now, its ok, I am back on the horse right away. There is no way on this beautiful big blue marble that I will ever go back to the old me. She is history. My entire mindset is different. My relationship with food has done a 180, I actually love working out - I feel alive ! I'm healthy, I meditate. I have bought clothes that actually make me feel good - not tugging and pulling to stretch them just a little bit more. I actually when grocery shopping after being at the gym still in my workout clothes and didn't feel FAT ! Do you know how that feels...I didn't. But I do now. There is nothing short of illness that can take my gym or workout time from me now. I am certainly not telling anyone anything they don't already know - calories in vs. calories out, but for me, now, right now, I am happy.