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The mirror

Thursday, October 03, 2013

This morning I had to go get some blood drawn. I was getting dressed looking in the mirror and thought how this is so natural. To look in a mirror. For years I wouldnt even brush my hair in front of the mirror the sight disturbed me so bad. If i didnt look then it was real. I stood there looking this morning thinking would that be a NSV that I feel normal enough that I can finally look at myself.

I am not sure normal is a good word. But I know i am strong enough. I can see it. One of the things that i had to do to start with was find something that i could touch that would get me through weak moments. Suggestions were a key chain, a necklace , a coin ect. For me it was my left shoulder I dont know why I choose that but that has been my saving grace. When i get worried , upset or any emotion that becomes overwhelming for me I just reach up and touch my left shoulder odd i know but in doing so I found that peace in the moment to keep going. This morning as I stood looking I saw that shoulder and it is very defined and very strong. It houses all my secrets good and bad but it is always with me no matter what. In this process that we all are on in one way or another, we do things that dont make much sense to anyone but as long as it works and you keep moving then who really cares if anyone gets it.

I know you can see the hanging skin on my arms but no worries it is going away just slowly ..... I also cropped out my face as i had red eyes. But none the less I think i look great in the picture and believe that is not an easy thing to say .

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
KAREN608 10/3/2013 7:01PM

    Looking good!
Seeing changes in our bodies is wonderful.

I noticed it was not hard for me to walk up the outside stairs... walking is helping my balance, strength.

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PATIENTHAND 10/3/2013 1:35PM

    yay!!!! keep going. I am glad you are more accepting of yourself, and feeling more at peace. You are such an inspiration to me. I read your posts, and think to myself.. someday maybe I can do what you are doing too. I am building towards it. Thanks for being YOU

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ABAKER34 10/3/2013 12:58PM

    You do look great! Keep up all the hard work, you are doing emoticon !

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WHYNOTJ1 10/3/2013 12:44PM

    Rock on! You are awesome. I love the "touch" idea! emoticon

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KIMPY225 10/3/2013 12:04PM

    Great job! I am glad you are looking in the mirror & accepting yourself more! Keep up the great work!

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