Thursday, October 03, 2013
I am not sure at the moment where I am at, I seem to be all over the place with no real focus, not even sure how I got here. Or how I will leave where I am.
I feel like everyone expects something from me, and when its not done,, I feel I have let them down, with the exception of 2 real good friends, one whom I love our facebook chats, and the other, we go out to visit her mum, and just have fun together. My problem at the moment it seems is my family and one friend, who just expect, the other night my youngest son got mad at me because I had put the bacon on the bottom shelf of the fridge and not in a container, oh man, I think he has some OCD tendencies, the other son I understand, he is not a problem he has just moved home and has not had a chance to unpack or settle in, as he just gets home and his work texts to say he is on standby which means there is a boat for him to go out on. So sadly he has to go.
I think I just need time to unwind and do nothing, maybe my kitchen is bugging me as we are still at the studs and insulation stage as the building permit we didn't need after all is not in yet, but the plumbing is completed and no more leaks so no more mopping up water every morning, I also have a light that works in the kitchen which is also great. But I guess I want my kitchen back in there.
As I said I am not sure what is wrong at the moment I just don't feel me,
I have commitments to teams here and at the moment I have no real dedication to them which I know is awful, so I apologize.
I must get me sorted out, find my direction and purpose again and find my focus, until then please don't give up on me, but rather just bare with me please.