So this is what rock bottom feels and looks like...balls...
Wednesday, October 02, 2013
I'm a married lady, yay! DJ and I have been married a month already and to be honest it doesn't feel any different than NOT being married. That's not exactly true, I've gotten super comfortable with how things are and that's when I was faced with rock bottom.
Firstly, I gained the weight I wanted to loose but that's 100% on me because I didn't do anything about loosing it til a week and a half before the wedding. That meant that I spent a week making terrible choices about how to eat and what I was putting in my mouth. *Shame*
Secondly...my wedding day. It took three of us to get me into my Spanx. If I hated them before that moment, I certainly hate them now. This was also the day that my dress was too uncomfortable for me to tie my own shoes and the day it was discovered that have more than my fair share of back fat. I'm 29 years old, this is unacceptable to me!
Thirdly. The pictures. I don't have the energy to get into ALL the reasons I'm unhappy with my wedding photos that we paid a LOT of money for; but I'll boil it down to four key issues.
1. The photographer was late arriving at the ceremony site. I was personally a half an hour late, if I'd been on time she would have missed my ceremony.
2. Because things ran late, and she was disorganized, I have no photographs of my family (my mom, dad, brother, grandfather) with DJ and I.
3. There is NO REASON for me to have more than one chin. There is also no reason for my photographer to include seriously unflattering photos of me in the 'edited' photo disk she sent me.
4. It is ridiculous for me to wait almost 3 weeks to get my photos when she emailed me a shipment 'confirmation' 4 days after I got married. A friend of ours is also a photographer and came and took pictures as our guest. She gave us those pictures as a wedding gift. I like them more than I like the professional ones that I paid for; and she had them to us (700 photos-edited on a disk-) seven days after we were married.
I cried when I saw my professional wedding photos, and not because I was happy. I am so unhappy with how I look in them that I haven't ordered any yet. It's terrible to look at pictures of the happiest day of my life and be disgusted and ashamed; I'm 29 years old and I'll be damned if I'm going to look like this a year from now. I'm not going to cry out of shame on my 30th birthday.