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So this is what rock bottom feels and looks like...balls...


Wednesday, October 02, 2013

I'm a married lady, yay! DJ and I have been married a month already and to be honest it doesn't feel any different than NOT being married. That's not exactly true, I've gotten super comfortable with how things are and that's when I was faced with rock bottom.

Firstly, I gained the weight I wanted to loose but that's 100% on me because I didn't do anything about loosing it til a week and a half before the wedding. That meant that I spent a week making terrible choices about how to eat and what I was putting in my mouth. *Shame*

Secondly...my wedding day. It took three of us to get me into my Spanx. If I hated them before that moment, I certainly hate them now. This was also the day that my dress was too uncomfortable for me to tie my own shoes and the day it was discovered that have more than my fair share of back fat. I'm 29 years old, this is unacceptable to me!

Thirdly. The pictures. I don't have the energy to get into ALL the reasons I'm unhappy with my wedding photos that we paid a LOT of money for; but I'll boil it down to four key issues.

1. The photographer was late arriving at the ceremony site. I was personally a half an hour late, if I'd been on time she would have missed my ceremony.
2. Because things ran late, and she was disorganized, I have no photographs of my family (my mom, dad, brother, grandfather) with DJ and I.
3. There is NO REASON for me to have more than one chin. There is also no reason for my photographer to include seriously unflattering photos of me in the 'edited' photo disk she sent me.
4. It is ridiculous for me to wait almost 3 weeks to get my photos when she emailed me a shipment 'confirmation' 4 days after I got married. A friend of ours is also a photographer and came and took pictures as our guest. She gave us those pictures as a wedding gift. I like them more than I like the professional ones that I paid for; and she had them to us (700 photos-edited on a disk-) seven days after we were married.

I cried when I saw my professional wedding photos, and not because I was happy. I am so unhappy with how I look in them that I haven't ordered any yet. It's terrible to look at pictures of the happiest day of my life and be disgusted and ashamed; I'm 29 years old and I'll be damned if I'm going to look like this a year from now. I'm not going to cry out of shame on my 30th birthday.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
EERTOLA 10/4/2013 6:44PM

    For what it's worth, I think you look beautiful in your profile pic with your new hubby! Your dress is beautiful, your flowers are beautiful, I love that you're wearing Converse sneakers, and you and your hubby look so much in love! It's so romantic! But also, sending some hugs cuz I know it sucks when you're feeling down on yourself! I second BTVMADS's comments about being honest with your photographer, there is no excuse for her not providing 110% of the services you hired her for!! And, as far as lighting your fire to be fit and healthy in 1 year, maybe consider that to be the silver lining of not liking how you look in your wedding photos. If you're really that unhappy with them and have achieved your goals in 1 year, consider having your lovely photographer friend take pictures of you and your hubby for your 1 year anniversary! Heck, you could even get a flattering white dress and have him dress up to replace your wedding photos! Invite your family along, too, so you can get your family wedding shots with them!
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DDOORN 10/4/2013 8:05AM

    Best thing about hitting rock bottom is you can make it all good and filled with SPARK from this point onward! :-)

Don

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LALA112 10/3/2013 10:22PM

    Hugs to you.

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SCHUBERTR1 10/2/2013 6:45PM

  one year to achieve your best health. what's the first step?

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BTVMADS 10/2/2013 4:48PM

    I'm so sorry you're not happy with your photos, Jess. I would absolutely call your photographer and explain to her why you will not be ordering photos and how dissatisfied you are with her services. Being late is NEVER okay for a photographer -- heck, my photog arrived 3 hours before the wedding to take pictures of the location, me and my bridesmaids getting ready, Miles with his family, etc. She should at least refund part of her fee to you, and if she won't, leave poor reviews of her on vendor websites.

I know it's probably not a huge consolation, but I for one thought you looked gorgeous in your pictures. I love the shots from the boat where you're waving, especially! You look truly happy in every picture, and that is what makes someone beautiful.

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