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    RUSSELL_40   100,912
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I eat poorly when I am nervous, Doctor!

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Two weeks ago, I had my ICD ( inter-coronary device ) checked, and they said I had an episode. The cardiologist would be shown my charts, and I would be contacted. So 2 days later, I get a call to go in to see her, and she changes my meds, and decides I need to see a specialist.. the guy who implanted the device into my chest.

As someone who has congestive heart failure, the ideal response would be for me to eat as healthy as possible when told I might have a problem, but when they leave me wondering if death is imminent, I tend to get nervous, and eat poorly...lol

I am almost positive that my cardiologist is aware that I have congestive heart failure, and hypertension, even if my last BP was only 90/60. Still she persists in making phone calls to me to tell me I need to be somewhere with no explanation. I, of course do not worry at all.. instead I panic..lol. I have a very active imagination, and within hours have thought of dozens of reasons why I am close to death. Thanks, Doc!

So I did what I always do when I need to forget things, and feel good. I ate. Ate poorly. I did get in to see the specialist last Friday, and he looked at my charts for about 30 seconds, asked how I felt, and said, " You're great ". Thanks, Tony the Tiger. Now I am craving Frosted Flakes. At least now I am 98% sure I will live. There is always a 2 % chance of death while in a hospital..lol.

I struggled pretty much throughout the weekend, and am finally eating on plan. I am re-starting Atkins Induction today. I have to return to the cardiologist on October 14th, but the specialist told me she " sees stuff on the charts, and makes decisions based on that ". So basically she is covering her butt in case of a lawsuit. She has plans for me to do either a sleep study ( for sleep apnea ), or a trans-esophageal echocardiogram, which sounds as fun as spelling it. They shove a camera down my throat, and take pictures of my heart from my throat.

I have already had sleep apnea. When I was 361, my neck was so fat, it made me stop breathing. I was on oxygen for 2 years, at night. I would wake up, gasping for air, and I was exhausted in the morning, and napped throughout the day, until going to work. I am sure I do not have any problems, but she just can't stop herself from doing more tests. I am going to tell her NO on October 14th. The throat camera is to see if my heart valve is leaking any worse than it has been for 12 years now, and I have already told her I am not doing any surgeries till my brother graduates. I am going to tell her I don't want to see her for 6 months. We can still be friends though. Well, actually we aren't friends..lol.

So now I have to get back on track, and lose a little weight. Induction will drop that off quickly, and hopefully by the time I see her on October 14th, any damage she caused is undone. Except for the large bill I will get for the specialist though..lol.

I am guessing that a lot of heart patients are overweight, and many got that way from eating when nervous, so why would they purposefully make people nervous. The best one was 5 years ago. They called me on Friday right before work, and told me I needed to be at the hospital the next morning. I told her that I was working the next 3 days,and couldn't go into hospital, or I would lose my job. I said I would see her on Monday. The nurse told me " You might not make it till Monday . "..lol. Needless to say, that was a great weekend for me. It turned out to be a simple medicine change after some bloodwork.

Maybe I need to tell my cardiologist the title of this blog. I think having her stop trying to make me nervous, is easier than seeing a therapist to undo my eating poorly while nervous.

Anyways, I wrote this blog also to explain some of the reasons for my limited presence here the past few weeks. I was busy with going to doctor/panicking, eating poorly ( guilt ), and actually had some personal things making me busy too, which actually helped a bit.

Hope everyone else is having a good week. I'm off to cook chicken.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 10/8/2013 12:23AM

    Keep going.

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CALLMECARRIE 10/5/2013 8:23AM

    Wow. Well, the nervous eating makes a certain amount of sense. If death is imminent, might as well eat a pizza before you go.... It sounds like you've really been through the wringer. I feel for you.

If I might say, though -- the sleep apnea issue sounds potentially serious. It doesn't necessarily go away when you lose weight. I've lost 100 pounds and the doctor told me I'd probably always have sleep apnea because my soft palate "goes all the way back." It's dangerous to ignore and testing and treatment are totally painless. My mother has sleep apnea and she refused to use the c-pap because it messed up her hair, and the result was permanent damage to her heart. It's something to think about. However, you obviously have an over-abundance of people giving you medical advice, you probably don't need it from lay people on Spark.

I enjoy your blogs. I hope you have a pleasantly dull week free of any medical stress and drama. :)

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AKHEIDI 10/3/2013 5:05PM

    Even when I wasn't able to log on I thought about you. The bit about "we can still be friends" cracked me up! Don't you just hate it when they tell you this crap on a Friday so you have to sit and stew in your own juice all weekend? And they wonder why people are phobic of doctors! Put the fork down and go back to what works. I have every confidence you'll be fin- go in there and show them who's boss!

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WOUBBIE 10/2/2013 8:22PM

    Ah, I was wondering where you've been!

I've heard of white-coat hypertension, but never white-coat binge disorder! Makes total sense to me.

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LAVHUGSNY 10/2/2013 4:53PM

    Russell,
How do YOU feel when the doctors are telling you alarming conditions that MIGHT be going on ?
I have a heart condition, see doctor every 6 months for evaluation etc. Had a proceedure the other day that had to be hooked up to a monitor etc. before I was 'put out' Well the heart monitor kept beeping like mad, nurse runs for doctor, thinking I am ready to have a heart attack. I told them I felt fine and haave what is called a low voltage heart ( don't really know what that means).
Now wouldn't you have thought they should read my medical records etc and know that ?
Not to worry, Russ, the good Lord will continue to take care of you and hopefully give the doctors the wisdom to give you the proper care.........Don't worry and stop eating the wrong foods. YOU are not helping yourself by doing that.
Barbara

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MZADAMS 10/2/2013 2:15PM

  Just try and do things one day at a time. If you didn't eat right today, be sure to get back on track the rest of the week. One meal won't make you fat and one healthy meal won't make you thinner. If you over eat when nervous try eating your favorite fruit or veggie. You won't feel so bad afterwards, and it will be good for you! emoticon emoticon

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FANGFACEKITTY 10/2/2013 1:09PM

    I've never understood why they refuse to tell anyone anything on the phone. And then they wonder why people's blood pressure is high when they are in the office!

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JLKL1980 10/2/2013 11:23AM

    Russell - I have been thinking about you for the last week. In fact, I was getting ready to look at your SparkPage to see if any activity was going on. Glad I got notification of this blog!

Well, no one can blame you for being so anxious and seeking a little comfort food. These doctors and nurses could use a little brush up on their bedside manners. That usually happens when they come down with the same illness themselves. Then, they write a book.

It sounds like everything is okay. And if you are sleeping better, I wouldn't want that throat camera done either. Hope they are not looking at you as their job security.

Keep up the good work on your health plan - you've done awesome so far!

Joy

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KAT321123 10/2/2013 11:15AM

    Yikes! Sorry to see that you had a scare!

Unfortunately, as you know, we can only control ourselves. Your doctor will do what s/he will do and you will react however you choose to. Chances are, your doctors won't change their way of practicing, which means you might continue to be nervous with information they give you!

Can I make a suggestion? You say you eat when you are nervous. Maybe try telling yourself, "I used to eat when I'm nervous...now when I'm nervous I ________." Fill in the blank with something healthier: Journaling, walking, listening to music, talking with a friend, WHATEVER. While our past actions do predict our future ones, we do have the power to change, even though it's incredibly hard sometimes. You don't have to be the guy who eats when he's nervous. You can be the guy who starts dancing when he's nervous instead! =)

Good luck getting back on track. You can do it! =)

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