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Still More Hilarious parenting tweets

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

If you want to get all scared about terrifying-sounding new drugs you know you will never personally take, you should definitely have a kid. -Claire Zulkey

6 y/o: "OxyClean is the best and you can get it everywhere cleaning products are sold." She remembers this crap. Not "Brush your teeth." -Claire Zulkey

My kids' favorite thing to play with is my patience. -Renee

The cat licked my son's arm so I'm totally counting that as giving him a bath. -Renee

You could tell a 3 yr old that they are stupid human trash and it would STILL not offend them more than telling them they're tired. -Fun_Beard

I love you more than I hate Caillou. Let that sink in a minute. -Sass Mouth

My kids think I am awesome because I am making pancakes for dinner. No one tell them it is laziness. -Chris

Hard to believe, son, but there was a time when they used to just throw away the donut holes. -Michael Ian Black
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