Tuesday, October 01, 2013
These past few weeks I watched most of the last season of Extreme Weight Loss. I think it might be the last weight loss show of it's genre that I ever watch (EWL, Biggest Loser, etc.). When I was overweight, I was inspired by watching people lose so much weight. Nowadays, I kind of see the weight-loss religious aspect a little more clearly.
There are "good" foods and "bad" foods. There's a lot of guilt about eating "badly". There's a lot of guilt and a sense of "letting people down". There's "temptation" to eat the "bad" foods. It was all starting to drive me a bit crackers frankly. Both BL and EWL are shows about people competing to lose 100's of pounds (even if it's against just the trainer's goals).
One notable cliche is the noise whenever a contestant/client let's himself/herself/their trainer down by giving into the temptation. This is demonstrated by showing a collection of unhealthy food (with a dark grainy visual filter) with a soft poof-like sound (*boomph*)
Back in the late 2000's and until the end of 2011, I had a Friday night ritual that I called "Beer and Pizza Night". After a long week of work, I would stop at my favorite pizza place and get two slices of pizza, sometimes a ginger-ale and usually a candy bar. I would cap off the night by watching a few hours of TV when I got home. Even though there was no actual beer involved, I called it beer and pizza night.
Now to be totally honest, I made a lot of other needed changes to my eating. My lunches became a lot less calorie intense. Though not many more vegetables were eaten, my fruit, low fat dairy and lean protein intake skyrocketed. Yes, as I was coming close to 200, it became mostly 1 slice of pizza and either the ginger-ale or the candy bar (not both). This was because I wasn't hungry enough to eat as much.
Though I did not have a beer and pizza night the night before my first sub-200 pound weigh-in back in 2010, I did for many afterward.
I lost almost 30 pounds during that time. Yes, while regularly consuming pizza, a candy bar and ginger-ale for dinner *boomph*
its more recent incarnation the past few months has been having Burger-King for breakfast Saturday to celebrate the weigh-in (again, *boomph*). Somehow, despite eating the evil fatty foods that are fatty, evil-ly and food-y, I've managed to lose about 20 pounds. Last week after consuming three slices of pizza on Friday (out with friends), I gained a whopping 2 pounds of water-weight which are already gone, per the mid-week weigh-in.
I've only stopped eating at burger king on Saturdays because it tastes gross. Not in some attempt to get back on any wagons.
If that didn't kill me, then how much harm can 1 slice and a ginger-ale or coke do me. If that's consistent and the rest of my week is the high nutrient, low sodium foundational foods that have lost me 20 pounds these past 6 months, I'll still be 195 in a matter of weeks.
I really do get the religious mentality of foods being good and bad. I get the inherent desire to turn healthy weight loss into a "competition" and the sense of accomplishment that comes with a big number on the scale. I've been there.
At the same time, I am so done with it. I also get the sense of guilt and failure that come with trying to conform to the standards. I know the feeling of let-down when the number on the scale doesn't reflect the effort. I see people who judge themselves and start the self loathing and try to live up to standards that shouldn't (and barely do) apply to even the 400+ pound people on the shows. It makes me really sad. Like, REALLY sad (again, I've been there).
For me it is and always has been about laying a foundation of healthy eating, basic exercise and a real motivation for a healthier life. It's about addressing health issues and getting to the root(s) of what's getting in my way.
Yes I lose weight at a not-so blazing average speed of 0.75-0.80 pounds a week, but it's without guilt and disappointment.
So yeah, Friday night is now once again "Beer and Pizza Night" (*boomph*).....
...unless I feel like eating something else.
- TD Out!