My Call Back to Reality
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
Last Friday was an eye-opener for me. It was the first time I chose to Blog since finding out I was pregnant. By the time I was about 3 months along, my Sparking was sketchy at best. I was inconsistent with logging my food, and my will to walk on my treadmill was becoming more an more infrequent. I'd have to say, I went through a lot of emotions when I found out I was pregnant. Elated of course that I'm FINALLY having another baby, but if I'm to be completely honest here, I was also completely mortified at the thought of regaining my weight back, and that was a completely overwhelming feeling for me. I never anticipated feeling the way that I did. Dare I say, I was mad that I was pregnant? How can that be, right? How can I be so upset by something and so overjoyed by that same thing at the same time. But that's probably the best way I can put it into words. I certainly could tell a difference in my appetite after the 1st trimester. It seemed that I was hungry every couple of hours. I just started feeling like I couldn't get enough food, and over time, that just turned into allowing myself to eat junk along with the healthy food I was trying to keep in my daily routine. I've noticed that I have an overwhelming craving for sweets. I mean sweets have always been the hardest thing for me to resist, but since being pregnant I either couldn't resist them any longer (or didn't want to resist them any longer!) But, all of this started really coming to a head after I kept seeing the scale creeping up. Yes, I know it's supposed to, but I think I am gaining too quickly. And, after looking back at the last 2 months or so, I can certainly see why. So, I guess I finally hit my boiling point last Friday and blogged about my feelings. And, boy did it feel good once I did. Ever since I started SP, I have found that just putting my feelings down in writing helped me so much. Not that anyone particular needs to read this (although I do appreciate all of the support I've received over the last couple of years), but I needed to put it down so that I could be honest with ME. So, I guess I'd call that my wake-up call. Since blogging, I've had a much stronger momentum going for staying healthy. I've been tracking my food consistently again, and I am making time for my evening walks again. I know my little boy inside of me needs me to be this way. And, I need me to be this way too.