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My Call Back to Reality

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

Last Friday was an eye-opener for me. It was the first time I chose to Blog since finding out I was pregnant. By the time I was about 3 months along, my Sparking was sketchy at best. I was inconsistent with logging my food, and my will to walk on my treadmill was becoming more an more infrequent. I'd have to say, I went through a lot of emotions when I found out I was pregnant. Elated of course that I'm FINALLY having another baby, but if I'm to be completely honest here, I was also completely mortified at the thought of regaining my weight back, and that was a completely overwhelming feeling for me. I never anticipated feeling the way that I did. Dare I say, I was mad that I was pregnant? How can that be, right? How can I be so upset by something and so overjoyed by that same thing at the same time. But that's probably the best way I can put it into words. I certainly could tell a difference in my appetite after the 1st trimester. It seemed that I was hungry every couple of hours. I just started feeling like I couldn't get enough food, and over time, that just turned into allowing myself to eat junk along with the healthy food I was trying to keep in my daily routine. I've noticed that I have an overwhelming craving for sweets. I mean sweets have always been the hardest thing for me to resist, but since being pregnant I either couldn't resist them any longer (or didn't want to resist them any longer!) But, all of this started really coming to a head after I kept seeing the scale creeping up. Yes, I know it's supposed to, but I think I am gaining too quickly. And, after looking back at the last 2 months or so, I can certainly see why. So, I guess I finally hit my boiling point last Friday and blogged about my feelings. And, boy did it feel good once I did. Ever since I started SP, I have found that just putting my feelings down in writing helped me so much. Not that anyone particular needs to read this (although I do appreciate all of the support I've received over the last couple of years), but I needed to put it down so that I could be honest with ME. So, I guess I'd call that my wake-up call. Since blogging, I've had a much stronger momentum going for staying healthy. I've been tracking my food consistently again, and I am making time for my evening walks again. I know my little boy inside of me needs me to be this way. And, I need me to be this way too.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    BIG BIG HUGS! Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you. I cannot imagine the struggle. emoticon
    1598 days ago
    You are doing so much good for your baby right now. Yes you need to eat healthy and exercise but you also need to feel GOOD about your choices. And you're doing just that.

    I'm still struggling with the weight gain and I've gained more than you, I think. My problem right now is that I'm still not really showing that I'm pregnant. I think if I was showing and it was obvious that I was pregnant, I'd feel more comfortable with the weight gain. I really want that round, obvious bump of a belly rather than the thick waist, fat-lady body I have right now. That probably sounds weird but it's how I feel.

    I'm 21 weeks today! Baby is doing really well according to last ultrasound and midwife appointment.
    1605 days ago
  • TAMARAST1974
    Don't beat yourself up. Being pregnant has a lot of emotions that go with it, both good and bad. I try to tell myself this to shall pass, I do this both with the good and bad. It helps me appreciate and recognize the good times in my life and not stress to much when it's the bad times. Remember even when it's a bad time you can find things to learn, and looking back you may see the sun shine during a stormy patch
    1605 days ago
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