Tuesday, October 01, 2013
Background: I've lost about 86 pounds and kept it off a little over 4.5 years after more than 5 decades of being overweight or obese. Thanks to Weight Watchers, SparkPeople, Curves, the YMCA, Galloway Run-Walk-Run that showed me what to do, and a lot of failed diets over years and years that taught me what not to do, I'm living at the weight I've wanted to be since I was in junior high school!! I'm training for my second and third half marathons. I believe I could maintain even without the running, but I have come to love the running!!
OK now. I weighed 125.8 Sunday morning, 126.6 on Monday morning, and 126.0 today. I entered my weight into SP today and it now shows me as 3 pounds under goal. Even though my favorite weight is 126, I changed my goal to 129 several months ago because I was just tired of seeing my ticker showing me over goal. I found it de-motivating, so I changed it. I know this is just playing games, but it helped me for my ticker not to be telling me I was over goal. After months of trying to get to 126, with my ticker listing 129 as my goal, I made it to 126. Go figure.
For a while I had my ticker set on number of weeks of maintenance, and in my own mind I considered myself maintaining as long as I was under 135. But that felt a little too loosey-goosey. I could look at other options or even - would you believe - eliminate the ticker from my page and postings. I could, but I like that visual. Powerful snapshot of success. I deserve it.
You know, I know that when it comes to weight, I'm not totally sane. Perhaps sanity is overrated, or maybe I really shouldn't write blogs like today that demonstrate my obsession, or at least lack of balance, on this issue. I could write them and not post them, but what fun is that? I'm retired now so I'm no longer concerned that things online are going to curtail my professional options.
So, should I change my ticker goal weight back to 126? I'm thinking not yet. Being under is not a negative. Let's see if I'm going to maintain 126. Three days is not a test. And yesterday I was .6 over. I get it. Weight fluctuates. I don't like it, but I get it.
I'm laughing at myself now. Maybe really someday in the not too distant future I will find the strength to give up my scale obsession. I gave up the mindless eating. I gave up sitting most of the time. I gave up not caring about my health and appearance. But this may be the hardest one to give up yet!!