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Reserving a Table for Pity, Party of 1

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

I’m struggling to be nice to both myself and others so I hesitate to say anything at all.

I let myself have a pity party yesterday. I know it was sadness versus stress because with stress I would have ended up at Chickfila, but last night I was sitting at home at 9pm and I realized that I’d had nothing but a piece of cake, a side salad, and a glass of wine to eat yesterday. I spent two hours at Kohls wandering around and didn’t buy a single thing. I forced myself to eat a bowl of ramen because I could not bring myself to cook a meal at nearly 10pm – awesome. I’m admitting that on here because acknowledging my weakness (and shame) makes it easier for me to stay accountable.

It is done, I’m not here to whine about it. I’m just going to try to shut that pity party down. I had my time. Stuff is getting me down but I can’t let it hold me back forever.

The insurance company from the guy who hit me denied my claim first thing in the morning yesterday. They say his story is completely different than mine and in his version, I hit HIM. I sort of predicted this would happen, judging by how sketchy he was on the scene not even wanting to exchange insurance information at all. Because we have no witnesses on file and I didn’t get out in the middle of the three lane highway during rush hour while he was driving off to take a picture, they can’t argue his word versus mine. All I will say is that it makes me very sad to know and have met someone so low. This was my first accident, I really think he was trying to take advantage of me on the scene, and then to lie about it? I am trying to trust that Karma will be a bigger b&tch than I need to be. It just hurts. And now I have to figure out how to fix and pay for my car damages myself. I shouldn’t complain, it could have been WAY worse and I am in one piece, it is sooo frustrating though that someone could be so selfish and now I have to cover for it?

I still have a lot of unresolved business at work to deal with. I have yet another meeting today to discuss it. I know that I should be thankful to have a job, especially with the furloughs and all right now – and I am happy to be employed. It makes me sad though, I can’t seem to help it. It doesn’t help that a lot of my coworkers have sad things to say about it like how they feel sorry for me, asking how I’m holding up, letting me know they are there for me. It is like everyone knows this is not the best thing for me. Again, those are all nice things to be thankful for and I am but at the same time – it forces a bit of “woe is me” on my life.

And don't even get me started on the government shutdown thing. I am staying off all social media today for my own sanity.

I keep having this cycle of thoughts about how I feel like I’m not in the place I want to be right now in my life. I wanted a dog, a better job, etc… Maybe I am just too impatient. I wish I could get my brain to accept this situation and trust that it will all work out if I work at it.

Speaking of work… I DO have good news. Boyfriend will be coming off of the night shift – he got a NEW new job! And not just any ol’ job, he’ll be working for a Baltimore based international fitness retailer. You do the math on that one, I feel like I shouldn’t/can’t drop names here. He’ll have access to all of their healthy living stuff and we’ll get 50% off all products. I feel like the pressure is sort of on me now. I’ll be living with someone who will be representing this brand (“Protecting This House” if you know what I mean) and I need to be fit and active too. I will definitely have access to cheaper support materials. But most of all, I am excited for him to have this amazing opportunity. I have super high hopes for him and I really wish it works out. He works hard, he deserves it.

Anyways, nothing super fitnessy or healthy eating related but thought I’d share. Hope you all are having a fabulous week so far!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BOSS61
    Hey - "Protect this House" - I know them well . Good for him! Congrats!
    1591 days ago
    DEFINITELY talk to your insurance company. They very likely will have someone look at the vehicle and make an assessment, and then pursue payment from the other company.

    This kind of stuff is really common - insurance companies aren't the friendly, helpful resource they make themselves out to be. I had to initiate a lawsuit to get payment when I was in a taxi that was rear-ended by another taxi - and the company make an offer until one month before our scheduled court date.
    1602 days ago
    Definitely with SonicB on this one. Contact your company now! you the Baltimore and DC area has the highest rate of accidents (DC is 1, NOVA is 2, Balitimore was 3 or something like that), so I'm surprised you are just now having your first!! My car was hit 3 times within the first 8 months that I lived in the area and then 3 more times the rest of the 6 years I lived there! My car was NEVER moving! First, a uhaul hit me in my apartment complex. I didn't see it happen and they didn't leave a note, so I drove around with a hole in my car. Next, a lady backed into me at the pay booth of the metro station parking garage! This time I at least got some money from her insurance to fix it. THEN, I was sitting on 66 driving to the metro in morning traffic (not moving), and a guy PLOWS into my car! This guy tricked me into not calling the police, also. I was so shaken up I didn't do anything except get his insurance. My car ended up being totaled (it was drivable, but the damage was more then my 10 year old car was worth!), but his insurance covered it since it is hard to get out of taking out the back of someone's car! I bought a new car using the insurance money as a down payment. 2 years later, someone sideswiped my car while I was in lab and took out my mirror (no note)! And then 6 months before I moved, my car was hit twice in two separate starbucks parking lots! I now live in the city the lowest rate of accidents in the country, at least! I think I have met my quota for a while!

    You can also add me to your pity party table. It's been so tough lately! I should write a blog, but I don't even have the motivation to do that! Just remind yourself that eventually the sh*t will run out of backup sh*t and you will be ok!
    1602 days ago
    Oh man, it does seem like everything is conspiring to pull you down right now.

    All you can do is focus on the positive to pull you through. You are in an awesome house. You do have a job (I can relate to your quandary right now). Your BF will now be in a better situation and you guys will see each other more. All these other issues will work themselves out one way or another.

    I hear ya, lady. Throw a fit or pity party when you need to. Better to express than to repress. Keep pushing through. The sun will shine again. *hugs*
    1602 days ago
  • RAINA413
    And a well deserved much needed pity party it is, too! Feel free to vent. I am completely on your side in this one. As if the work situation wasn't bad enough. I hope that the meeting you are having about the workplace issues is productive and gets the wheels turning in the right direction.

    As for the car accident and insurance issues, I agree 100% with SONICB's comments. I used to work in insurance and you need to take her advice on this one and what ever you do DO NOT BACK DOWN! If they think you are a pushover and they can get out of paying they will. The one thing insurance companies hate most is paying out for claims. So stay strong!
    1602 days ago
    Do you know anyone who's an insurance assessor/adjustor? A lot of times, a well-trained assessor can just look at the car and tell if it was the one that was hit or caused the hit. There's a lot of info in the extent of the damage & the location of it.

    Edit: By the way, this is all worth telling your car insurance company RIGHT NOW, because I think then THEY will sue the other guy's company for the claim money. It'll be tough because there isn't a police report, but they have an incentive for proving the other guy was at fault. Since he claims you hit him, his insurance company will go to yours for the money, and yours needs your side of the story.
    1602 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/1/2013 11:56:43 AM
    Hey the 50% discount sounds awesome! I've thrown quite a few pity parties myself. Hope you get to feeling better!
    1602 days ago
    Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep on keep'n on. emoticon emoticon
    1602 days ago
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