The Cart Before the Horse! We have the lives we create...back to the drawing board!
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
So...the strangest thing has happened...I think I really want to teach Zumba!
I feel a little awkward though because I am 221 lbs! I have been dancing since I was 2.5 years old and I am now 35. So, I know I can do it. Also, I have taught dance to babies, elementary school kids and teenagers. I know I have the ability and know-how, but I am very insecure about my body.
I did sign up for the Group Instructor Certification through ACE (American Council on Exercise)...but found out I will also need to get an actual Zumba certificate, which is $299! I am not working right now and am trying to find work...although, I don't know if I can live off of the little bit of money Zumba would get me at the moment.
So...I will continue to study for the Group Certification and think that when I reach 185, or so...I will sign up for the certification? I am hoping that I can do it before Christmas so I can get a job before the New Years Resolution rush at the gyms!!! LOL!
Logically, given my debt/student loans...maybe I should find a job that is boring, but will pay my bills and put me on a eating schedule too...I just don't want to go back to something I am not happy doing. I moved in with family recently, so my expenses are fairly low, but I need to find something very soon. Hmmm...any ideas on a job for a heavyset wannabe Zumba instructor with an MBA! Ha!
It does feel like I am doing things backwards here...I have been seriously thinking about what I want to do with my life. It's not everyone that gets a second chance, or a "do-over." But, I got one when I quit the job that made me miserable, moved in with family and am now trying to sort it all out. Here's what I have come up with...
1) I really like to help people - Not like by taking out the trash, but by resolving problems or encouraging them to do what their heart wants to do. I really believe that anything is possible, if you put work behind the dream.
2) The more and more I think about this...I keep seeing my weight come up. It has been a problem for me my entire life. 26 years of diets, crazy exercise, binge foods, to diet again, etc. I know this has to be a lifestyle change, but it is just now sinking in after all these years as to what the REALLY means. I know exactly what it's like to be the Fat Girl, the Fat Friend, the Fat Bridesmaid, the Fat Date, the Fat Sister, etc. I have been pretty much every fat label except for the Fat Wife. I would like to change that before it happens. I do think Health & Wellness might be the field I am supposed to be in. (I used to be a medical sales rep!)
3) I like to write. I am taking a screenwriting class (since April 2013) and I love it! It's difficult, frustrating, challenging and creative all at the same time. I think I am going to be a writer, but the world has a unique way of saying, "Yes, that's right. You are a writer, but not in the form you think it will be." Who knows...maybe I will write a book about being a chunky, but fit, Zumba instructor!
I think the more and more I try to figure it out, the more confused I get. But, I do think that the moment I figure it out and lose this weight, is the moment I can transition my career from something I have to do, to something I love!
I would love to help other people lose weight and live the lives they've always wanted! I would love to inspire others to be the best that they can be! I would love to help others ENJOY exercise and get their bodies moving around! That would be absolute heaven!
Only one little snag...
I'm still a chunky monkey! I need to lose this weight.
It's the thing I need to change to get myself in the career I want! Nothing like putting the cart before the horse, Kristi! =)
Lots to think about, but the real weight loss work started today!
1 hour Zumba
1 hour Body Pump (Strength Training)
10 glasses H20
I think having been called "FAT" when I weighed 80 pounds in dance and worked out over 15 hours a week, it does something weird to your self-labeling system. I think that is something I need to get out of my head. I have a friend who weighs about the same as I do...but I don't think she is fat at all...I would never call her fat in any which way...
Isn't it crazy how we are so kind to others yet so harsh and critical of ourselves?
That is something I am working on right now. I can go back and change the words I wrote about myself...but I kind of want to leave them there because I want to remember how far I have come and how different I view myself in a few months. I think it will be a good reminder of what I don't want to return to.
Time to start accepting myself as I am now, loving myself (flaws and all), embracing the process and treating my body well by living a healthy lifestyle! Others have done it, why can't I?
Kristi, all things are possible when you try and don't give up!!!