Monday, September 30, 2013
Do you think a fear of failure could be something that is unconsciously holding you back (or maybe your are conscious of it)? How many times have you tried to tackle this area unsuccessfully? How do you think that could be impacting your belief that you can do it? Were you taught growing up "if you're going to do it, you better do it right"? Do you think that could have caused you to be scared to try things that you weren't going to be "perfect" at?
Fear of failure is definitely a reason I'm afraid to even try. I've tried and gave it my all only a few times and I've always ended up quitting. When you're doing your best and you can't do it, it's very discouraging. I hate feeling like a failure! I do feel hopeless and helpless now but if you do your absolute best and still can't conquer this thing that seems to control you, it's a whole new level of hope/helplessness. I've also made a lot of half-hearted attempts and those aren't so bad when I quit since I knew I wasn't giving it my best in the first place. In my mind I know I don't have to...can't be perfect but I still try to be. I think, "what's the use in trying if I'm not going to do this right?". For example: If I can't eat foods that are good for me when I diet than I feel like a failure. Weight Watchers - I can eat within my allotted point range for the day but because I may have ate foods that weren't nutritious I feel like I'm not doing well. If I'm eating foods (like sugar free jello) that don't actually promote health then I'm failing. So it isn't enough to lose weight I have to be getting healthier too. I need to think if I lose weight I'll feel better, be able to move more and then on down the road I can start eliminating the not so good foods.
Do you create intricate plans that you don't take action on (or hardly any action at all)? Why do you think that is?
Do I ever! I occasionally come across plans I've made years ago that I've written in notebooks. I'm doing this less than I used to but I've read a lot of books and researched different ways of losing weight on the internet. I've analyzed what drives me to eat. I've thought of the easiest ways I could lose weight. I've made lists of why I should lose weight and what I would gain from losing weight that I've posted around the house. They're beautiful lists...on colored paper...everything written in order of importance. I've made lists of what is going to happen to me if I don't lose weight. I'm a great planner but most of the plans I've made I've seldom taken any action on. Why? It seems too difficult. I'm afraid it will be difficult. I'm lazy. I want to do everything the easy way. I'm afraid to try because then I may know that no matter how hard I try I really can't do it. Them I'm doomed to the things on the list of what will happen to me if I don't lose weight.
How do you think your life would change if you started looking at failure as feedback as to what isn't working so you can figure out what will...instead of a sign that you're never going to reach your goal?
It makes sense. I have written down the different attempts that I've made before and why they didn't work for me. I've realized I don't do well with strict diets. There has to be some limits but not too many or I rebel. Also, the amount I eat has to be adjusted gradually. These are things I have learned, as well as other things. I've always felt different than other people...at Weight Watchers for example. I've felt I'm more out of control that they are, that it takes more food for me to be satisfied, that other people have the ability to keep trying - the belief in themselves that they can succeed and I don't. On Sparkpeople I've learned I'm not alone. There are others that struggle just like I do. People start and quit. People succeed and say if I can do this anyone can. It gives me hope. NOW if I could just make myself do something.....anything to get started in the right direction.