Sunday, September 29, 2013
How long have you struggled to accomplish the goal you've chosen to focus on?
I have been struggling with losing weight for approximately 36 years. Have lost some a few times but never kept it off. The most I've lost was almost 50 lbs. on a Weight Watchers points diet. I gradually gained the weight back over the next year and then added another 40 lbs. I did this with a group of people from a friends church that had done Weight Watchers before....so I wasn't actually going to WW meetings. We met once a week and would discuss how the week went, share recipes, sometimes exercise, etc. I think what appealed to me was not having to pay every week. When I join WW (probably 25 + times) because I'm paying that weekly fee I feel a lot of pressure. I think if I'm not going to do what I'm supposed to do why am I going and paying every week. I feel like a failure. I've even kept going for weeks when I'm not doing anything to lose to almost punish myself....hoping if I keep paying I'll get motivated to lose. Didn't work. Anyway the 1 time I'm referencing here was the 1 time that I gave it my all to lose. This is sad but my niece had weight loss surgery and I wanted to see if I could lose as much as she did without having the surgery. It was a competition. I didn't win.
What have your plans looked like in the past? Have you been excited or totally drained while you were executing your plans?
The times I've tried, I am excited at first. As time went on I would become increasingly stressed because everyday became a struggle to keep trying. If I was doing something sensible, like Weight Watchers, I wasn't hungry but I hated the limits. I hated not being able to eat when, what, and how much I wanted. I'm not a disciplined person and I avoid discomfort when possible. Those 2 things doesn't make for a good dieter.
What would it look like if you took steps that made you feel like you were building momentum instead of hardly chipping away at your goal?
First of all, I'm not chipping away at my goal. I'm avoiding even thinking about it as much as possible and have been in a state of denial for many, many years. I'm miserable. I have thought about taking small steps to get started but, as is my pattern, haven't been able to make myself start. The only times in the past that I tried something like that and had success was when I challenged myself to give up drinking soda for a month. It was a challenge with a co-worker. It was tough but I did it. Unfortunately I added nothing else and quit after that month. I seldom - as in a couple of times a year - drink soda now. Over the past few years I've discovered I don't like it that well but not drinking it for the 30 days had nothing to do with it.
How could you change the way you LOOK at your goal so it felt more manageable? Could you focus on what you are going to eat and what you are going to do for exercise today instead of for the next month? Could you focus on how you are going to lose your next five pounds instead of losing 100? What are some ways you could let go of those feelings of struggle today?
I supposed I need to decide to so something so small that I know I can do it and then see how long I can keep doing it. Weight loss or decluttering or anything else that overwhelms me I'm going to have to start with small, very small, changes so that it feels more manageable. Just the thought of change is so overwhelming that I want to sleep. I can't see how I'm going to get from where I'm at to where I want to be. Even the thought of starting a small change is overwhelming. Maybe one reason is I know a small change isn't going to do it and mentally I'm jumping ahead to the other changes I'm going to have to make...and on and on. It scares me. I'm going to have to jump in and just do something to get started. Make myself do 1 thing...1 step in the right direction.
What will I do......???