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I am spiraling downwards yet again trying to grasp onto something.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Oh gosh, thank God my PTSD counseling is tomorrow. I really need it! We spoke last session about how I was retreating back into my hole and my mood was matching my dark hole. Last session I was upset because of the fire that destroyed the boardwalk in Seaside, NJ and afraid they were going to divert the funds to rebuild the boardwalk instead of finally getting around to fixing our homes in NJ as there are still so many of us waiting to rebuild. The funds to rebuild our homes are constantly being diverted.

My counselor told me it was a good thing that I realized I was going back to my way of dealing with Sandy and retreat inside myself. She said that I was halfway in the hole but she felt I would "claw" my way back up out of it. She wanted to see me last week but I asked if we could do every other week . She reluctantly agreed because she felt I was a "fighter." This week I won't be so lucky. I know I will be busted back to weekly counseling sessions.

After reading today's newspaper I am feeling less hope and falling deeper. Evidently FEMA is now saying that our crawl spaces must be above the FEMA requirements. I was praying I could increase my cinder block crawl space (there is nothing under there) so I would not have to move the house temporarily to put the house on pilings.
We still don't know if the ground can support the weight of a house on pilings.

They are also saying that the Flood Insurance rates will increase dramatically should we ( my fellow NJ homeowners ) decide to sell the house. The rates have increased but not thousands of dollars. I can handle increases of hundreds of dollars but not thousands. The new homeowner would have to pay much higher premiums, like upwards of $10,000 dollars. Remember, my house is not even on the water but still in a Flood Zone. More of us are in Flood Zones because they extended them due to Sandy's destruction.

This new law goes into effect on October 1st. It is going to force a lot of people into foreclosure if it doesn't get shot down through protests or we can get our Congressmen to repeal it so it does not get enacted. It is called the Biggert-Waters Act.

A lot of you have said I should just walk away and start anew. I can't do that at 58 years old. That house is my "retirement" I need to rebuild then sell it and move into a smaller place like the condo where I am staying now till I can rebuild. I need to put the money of the sale of my home into the bank to be able to live off of once I retire. We all know Social Security will not be there for us when we retire.

I just want to retreat to my bed and pull the covers over my head and not deal with anything. emoticon emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon Hang in there. You can get yourself on track. Have Faith. emoticon
    1629 days ago
    I hope the counseling session was helpful for you.

    Hoping things will turn around for you, soon. You and the other homeowners deserve better treatment than what you are getting.
    1632 days ago
    I hope your session helped today.
    1632 days ago
    I hope your counseling session was productive. Hold on to every good thing no matter whether it's big or small while you work your way back up the spiral. I know you will do it.

    emoticon emoticon
    1632 days ago
    That really sucks! (I just have to say it like it is) haha..sorry if that offends. I hope things get better for the many of us struggling today.
    1632 days ago
    Have Faith my friend. Yes you do need to sell for your retirement. I think you are accepting the inevitable because at one point you wanted to live in the home after it's rebuilt and I'm sure you would have to do that for awhile before you can sell.

    I think you are realizing that a storm can very well hit again and might cause more damage not sure but that is what I'm guessing. Who knows maybe the state/Gov't would just buy you guys out and do something else with property but all homeowners will at least walk away with the majority of the money to buy else where.

    I think that is probably better then waiting but then again that is not what's happening and the waiting game is still one.

    Don't give up somethings gotta give Insurance companies can't keep your money, my guess someone's going to sue, or complaint letters and calls will continue and they will have to resolve the issue I hope and pray sooner then later.

    Be strong you deeply loved and we are here for you!

    Hugs and be Strong.

    Prayers in coming.

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    1632 days ago
    Yvonne, have faith. We're praying for you and hope that things turn out better.
    1632 days ago
  • JACKIE542
    1632 days ago
  • L*I*T*A*
    praying there will be some resolution for you soon........
    we are all here for you...........
    blessings and hugs...........lita

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    1632 days ago
  • ERIN1957
    I have faith SS will be there for us that are over 50 years old today, the rest I have my doubts about though.
    I wouldn't sell or walk away. I would see it through, no matter how long it will take and by God I would fight, no matter what.
    They are just hoping people do exactly that, walk away, up and leave, give up. I say to that BS. I would be the last dog standing and I would bark the loudest, longest and never give up the fight, ever!
    It is good you are seeking outside help and that they see you as a fighter!
    I say put them on the ropes and KO their rears. Look out folks here comes Yvonne!
    emoticon emoticon
    1632 days ago
    emoticon hang in there Yvonne, there has got to be a solution emoticon
    1632 days ago
    I hope you cheer up soon. You aren't the only one who spirals downward. It happens to all of us. Hang in there. You can do it.
    1632 days ago

    1632 days ago
    emoticon I know that you are Stronger than you think you are Right Now. But to have survived all you have ALREADY, you have to be a Strong Lady!!

    emoticon I will be Praying that You -- like Many Others before You -- will find that God already Knows Your Future, and that He has a Plan for YOU. Even through the Darkest Days, He Will Provide Your Needs!
    1633 days ago
  • DS9KIE
    I just can't believe they are still not letting anyone build after all this time.
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    1633 days ago
    I don't even have words to help you my friend. I love you. My prayers are for you. My thoughts are with you. I wish that I had some magic wand to make it all better but I do not. Please hang in there and keep the faith my friend. You have a strong faith. Embrace it. emoticon
    1633 days ago
    Hugs and prayers! emoticon
    1633 days ago
  • WILLOW49
    emoticon emoticon
    1633 days ago
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