Sunday, September 29, 2013
I am feeling better and my house is all ready for the pre-closing show. I just can't wait until tomorrow and I find that everything is wonderful and that period of my life is behind me now. My eating has been horendous but I have not been eating much (thank goodness) because I have been busy hauling and lugging and cleaning. I'm not even sure how to put it in the tracker since I normally don't include cleaning. But hey, I don't EVER clean like this. Last night was about 4-5 hours of going through boxes and sorting. There was not much work to that except for the occasional heavy lift here and there. But today I have put in 10 hours of heavy cleaning. I would say the most "physical part of the day was loading the trucks" about an hour total and about an hour and a half of intense scrubbing so that is what I will do. We decided because of our hard day today to go to the hotel for a treat. I did not bring my bathing suit but plan to take advantage of the fitness center tonight and again in the morning. I think it will be a long time before I own a house again. I NEVER want to be a landlord EVER again (unless I end up with a limitless income and really couldn't care less if my house is trashed). If I have to go where the money is, I can't be hanging onto a house in hopes that I can someday get a job in the area so that I can return. I must have a less planted and more transient mind. Suddenly my (just shy of) 40's is starting to sound a lot like my 20's. I would travel the world doing what I love. Hopefully, I can be much smarter about it this time around. Instead of following every new experiences and places before me (blowing in the wind), I am following a career but at the same time open to experiencing new things. Openness to new experiences is a little smarter and less risky, more focused on my career goals and I hope it serves me well. Am I ever excited (and a little nautious at times) to be starting this new chapter in my life.
Back to the diet talk. I know this was the WORST time to be starting the Biggest Loser Challenge during this emotional and stressful and busy time. If I've learned one thing in my years of sparkpeople, busy, stressful, and emotional times are inevitable and they come and go. It is better to be a little lax in my expectations within a short time period than give up over larger time periods all the while convincing myself that I will just wait until the right time, because during ... (what the stressor is) I absolutely can not expect myself to do what is required to lose weight and then convince myself that it is okay to lose all the ground I have covered up until that time. I just can't be okay with that mindset and allow myself to do that any more.
EVERY DAY is a new day.
EVERY DAY I will track, no matter how good or bad the result so that I have that reality staring me in the face and the constant reminder that I am not powerless, but in control of my behavior, my mind, and therefore my health.