Day 5 or 60 ED....
Friday, September 27, 2013
Day 5 for me started out like all the others I eat healthy during the day, then I get home and it's down hill. Got home for worked and binged on sweets which is my weakness. And the sweets was not something I bought so it wasn't like i was planning on eating them, but when I seen them I couldn't resist.
I managed to push threw the same feelings...failure and feeling like my eating ways will never change no matter how hard I tell myself Im going to eat clean....and managed to get in a very difficult workout. I printed an at home circuit workout that looked fun, but it made me feel worse mentally. The routine seemed easy but I guess I didn't realize how much weight I've gained and somethings I use to do I can't do as well.
It tore my confidents to shreds, but I manged to finish the workout and Iam proud of myself no matter what. I struggle daily but I keep faith and tell myself one day you will get through the woods peak out and never look back. I will get through this and I will conqur my eating disorder and obesity.
Later that evening I had another binge at bed time. Its sad but it's the truth and I take blame for everything I put in my body. I first ate a healthy snack fruit and whipped cream, but I felt hungry after and wanted more to eat so I chose unhealthy food instead of something healthy.
Bare with me sparkfriends I will improve I will get better and it start here daily with me writing blogs, my public diary, about my daily struggles and accomplishments.