So, I am working through the article, "23 Things Every Woman Should Stop Doing" for the next few months.
Started last week with "apologizing all the time". I was so guilty of this and I believed it would be a REALLY tough habit to break. But, honestly, after catching myself a couple of times, it hasn't been that difficult to eradicate "sorry" from my vocabulary.
I've replaced it with "pardon me" or "excuse me" on several occasions and simply being mindful of it has allowed me to think before I say it. I ask myself, "Am I apologizing for being who I am?" If so, I'm not saying it. My boyfriend noticed the first time he saw me that I wasn't saying it as much. So...cool. Success! And will continue to work on this one.
Next up...saying "yes" to everyone else.
From the article:
"Yes, I will meet you for coffee even though Iím exhausted and just want to go home and crawl into bed. Yes, I will edit your resume even though Iím swamped with my own work. Yes, I will go on a double date with you, your almost-boyfriend and his awful friend whoís in town. Stop saying 'yes' when you donít truly mean it. People actually respect you more when you set boundaries."
I believe I learned this lesson quite a long time ago, in terms of activities and volunteering for things. However, it occurs to me that I need to focus this one on my parenting of my children.
Mr. T made a very helpful observation a few weeks ago and noticed that my kids really tend to walk all over me. They are used to getting everything they want when they want it (yes, they are SEVERELY spoiled at the other house). It has made for a difficult transition. And, while we both love my kids tremendously, it is clear that there are times when the way they treat me and order me around is unacceptable.
Up until now, I have just done anything they ask whenever they ask...to keep the peace. It is running me ragged, friends. I absolutely cannot do it any longer.
Obviously, I can't say "no" to my kids' every request. LOL. That would be the opposite extreme of bad parenting. But I CAN be very deliberate in what I ask them to do themselves (because they are capable and responsible enough to do so) and what I actually do FOR them. This one will be tricky and delicate and I will need to call on quite a bit of patience and perseverance.