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Barriers and excuses


Thursday, September 26, 2013

I've been doing some soul searching lately, as in wondering what my purpose is, and what God's plan for me. So I've been doing some reading. The book I'm reading now is on discerning God's voice. Well this chapter is about barriers we set up that block God. This one part kind of hit me. The author was talking about how we sometimes let our families and our past dictate some of our future and our thoughts about ourselves.

The author mentioned how we put up barriers concerning our weight.
Do I do that?
Am I building barriers out of my excuses?
I realized I am.
Barrier/excuse ... I have been sick. ... big deal. I know people that are sicker and do more than me.
Barrier/excuse .... my fathers family are short and stocky, my moms are big Irish men. My grand mother was overweight, my Aunt is overweight, my mom, sister and brothers are overweight. ...... But that doesn't mean that I have to be. I also have relatives, and a sister, that are not overweight, that are healthy. So I can too.
Barrier/excuse ...... I'm tired, I don't feel well. I've had a hard day. AND????? I always feel better after I exercise. and sitting on an exercise bike and pedaling while watching tv is not hard work.
Barrier/excuse ..... it's that time of month ....... I've had "TOM" for a very long time, why am I now using it for a reason to pig out on cookies?
Barrier/excuse ..... I just can't help it, I see it I have to eat it. ...... Ummmmm sorry, but BULL CRAP!!!! I don't have to eat it just cause I see it. I eat it cause I want to. Nobody is making me do it.

That small little voice in my head keeps whispering to me, that I can't do this. That I will only gain it back, cause that is what has happened in the past. That I only want to lose weight to look good in others eyes (and that is a bad thing.) That I will do to much and have a relapse. Ect., Ect.,
And I listen to this crap. I let these barrier grow. I believe these excuses are true. I believe that I can't change. I guess back the first of the year I had said that I will probably be this weight forever and I was ok with that. That was a HUGE mistake! All of these barriers grab onto that and just strengthened themselves.
Last Sept. 20th I weight 146.4. today I weigh 164. When I joined, January 24, 2012 I weight 160. ..... I'VE GAINED 18 POUNDS THIS YEAR!! I am speechless. well no I'm not, but the words that are running through my head are not very polite.
I have to change. I have to tear down my barriers. I have to tell that little voice to just shut the ____ UP!! I'm back to hurting when I get up in the morning, I can't get up off the floor, I'm out of breath, my belly is hanging over my pants. .....

Maybe now I will get serious.

emoticon
Becky


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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
REEDWEEB 9/27/2013 10:52AM

    Such a harsh realization really hurts. Truth can make or break a person. Please don't let the negative take over. You are such a wonderful person. The 18 pounds does NOT represent who you are. You have had a really, really rough year so far. I cannot imagine hurting everyday as you do. When I get a stomach ache I have a relapse. Give yourself some credit. You have been working on your house like crazy! You have made a giant positive move in the right direction just by writing this blog. You do have the inner strength to accomplish what God is intending for you, whatever weight you are. Get out that bike and ride like the wind! (place fan by TV!) You can and WILL do this! You have so many things to accomplish during this journey. Stay strong my friend! emoticon

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BEEJAY49 9/26/2013 6:30PM

    I know you can! I know you can! I know you can! I know you can! I know you can! Love you! :) HUGS!

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SMARTPOET06 9/26/2013 5:25PM

    You can do this. We've all been there too! The first thing is to have faith and truly believe in yourself. You can only do it if you are doing it for you, not anyone else. One step at a time. Don't look at the big picture (how much you have/want to lose). Look at this week, this day, this minute. You can do this!
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BEBOP4ME 9/26/2013 4:54PM

    I know you will pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try, try again. You can do it! Better now that next year at even more weight :-) I believe in you! I know you do too!

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NELLIEC 9/26/2013 3:37PM

    Ouch! In your last sentence, leave off the maybe, and it will be more positive to say now I will get serious.

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TULIPVIC 9/26/2013 3:32PM

    Wow! That book sure is an eye opener and thanks for posting about it. It made me think and I bet a lot of others are thinking too. I am going to evaluate what I think and say and do a whole lot more now! Hope it works for you, keep us informed!

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LUANN7 9/26/2013 2:56PM

    I am sorry for your weight gain and you do need to get serious!! You need to stop listening to the little voices and then you'll be better off.Where do you start? Write down you goals and start there then log your food and are you exercising-you need to start an exercise plan. emoticon emoticon

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