Wednesday, September 25, 2013
I have been doing so good these past few weeks. The last two days, I exercised put it on my tracker, I read a lot of helpful articles, and laid out my meals for the day on my tracker, I worked my page, and talked to my Sparkers. Then last night got a call from my brother-in-law. It was an upsetting conversation. I was trying to handle my emotions. I had eat everything I had planned for my meals. I couldn't sleep. So I started emotional eating. I didn't go over my calorie to much, but I had high carbs. Then today, I told myself I had control and not to worry about the night before. I did my menu and tracked it, did my exercise, worked on my page some, read articles. I call my cousin. She was very close to my sister and me when we were growing up. I had promised to call her at the funeral. I kept putting it off. I just couldn't handle it. I decided I should call her. I though maybe it wouldn't go to bad. It has been two month. She cried on the phone most of the time we talked. It was so upsetting. I just broke down. I kept with my breakfast. I had to go to the foot doctor for injections in both my feet. The doctor had to go under my right foot to inject, because I was still very bruised from the last time. I had to have two injection in that foot again. It is alcohol injection. The pain was so bad I couldn't hold still. That made it take longer for the doctor to finish the two injection. Then I had one in my other foot. It shot my blood pressure up and it shook me up so bad. From there hubbie needed to Todd and Moore Sporting to get a new pair of walking shoes, socks for both of us plus Glide for the walking practice. We got in some walking while my feet was still numb. The nurse numbs the skin with a spray, but not inside the foot. It do help the pain afterwards. I didn't pack our lunch. I wasn't thinking about it. To upset about the phone call. I got hungry and ask hubbie to stop for a 6" Veggie Sub. That wasn't to bad. We also stopped for veggies and fruit at a produce stand. When we go home I felt exhausted and hungry again. I should have made myself realized it was emotional. I am a bundle of nerves and anxiety. So I got a sugar free pudding. Still not bad, but not on my plan meals. When supper time come I didn't just eat one helping, I ate two. Then I had three ounces of purple muscadines. Not on my planned meal. Then a 100 calorie bag of cookies. Not on my meal plan. A piece of homemade cinnamon loaf. Very thin, but not on my plan. So I put everything I had eaten in my tracker and took out what I hadn't eaten to see how bad I had done. I eat between 1200 to 1400 calories each day. I most stay within 1250 to 1300 calorie today I ate 1496 calories. Way more than I exercised out. I can have 150-175 Carbs, today I had 209 grams (Whoa!). Bad news to do that. I can have 40 -47 grams of fat, today I had 48 grams. I can have 60-70 grams of Proteins, I had 76 grams of protein. So I decided to go back to yesterday and put in what I had eaten extra after eating my days planned meal. Calories 142 Carbs 192 Fats 48 Proteins 68. I feel so ashamed that I lost control. I have to stay on top of my emotions, recognized what is happening and apply everything thing I know to preventing these mistakes. I have to pray a lot more to defeat this issue. Keep me in your prayers. I really need them. I am so afraid I will gain this week. I am afraid to get on the scales this week. This is the last weigh-in for my Losing 13 in 2013 Challenge. I let you guys down on my team 50+ Members With 10-24 Pounds to Lose. I let myself down. I disobey the LORD, by not taking comfort in HIM and letting my anxiety over my sister death overwhelm me. I let all of you down. I am sorry! I aim to overcome this with the LORD's help. I need to get my flesh under subjection as I find comfort for my grief in the LORD.