Wednesday, September 25, 2013
This afternoon (on my lunch break) I finished the book "Made to Crave; Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food" by Lysa TerKeurst of Proverbs 31 Ministries.
I have to admit, I first picked up the book probably 2 years ago, read maybe 5 of the 19 chapters and then set it down. It wasn't until a few months ago that a good friend of mine encouraged me to try reading it again with a fresh set of eyes. I tell you know, I do not think it is a coincidence that my recent success coincides with my devotion to read the book.
Whatever your faith, I think you would agree that weight-loss is not just a numbers game. Sure we have to burn more than we intake to lose weight, but formulaic doesn't necessarily mean linear. There is just SO MUCH MORE to this! There are issues of emotions, desires, and motivation. There are schedules, demands, and conveniences. There is a cycle of crushing defeat. But I believe there is also hope. And love for ourselves. And VICTORY.
I had already learned about emotional eating and the tricks to try to curb it... but honestly, I hadn't DEALT with some stuff. I needed to be honest with myself and with God and say, 'I try to shove down feelings of unworthiness with cheesy bread.' 'I try to drown stress in chocolate.' 'I AVOID SparkPeople when I feel like I just need a break from counting calories and being held accountable.' I had to admit that I wanted the quick fix that comes from things melty, gooey, & crunchy instead of focusing on what is beneficial for me in the long run. I had to make a committment to myself and that means considering myself worth more than just what's convenient. I have to trust that small steps can still add up to great distances and that giving up what I want NOW is worth what I really want in the long run.
I can't say that in 14 weeks - give or take - I've got healthy habits mastered or that I would rather have carrot sticks than ice cream (not a chance!). What I can tell you is that this caused me to do some soul searching and dig down deep to find a reason to change my life. I'll share that reason with you: FREEDOM. I want to be free of the cycles of perfection and destruction. I want to be free to try things without fear of injury or embarrassment. I want the freedom from failing, beating myself up, sinking back into the prison of "I can't so I might as well just eat something....", and the shame that comes with it. And OMG, I am just NOT up for having to start over again!!! As my Spark friend STEPH-KNEE says, "I'm doing it for realsies this time!" Amen to that!
"Dare to set your toes firmly on the pathway of victory you are meant to be on. Whether we're on the path toward victory or defeat is determined by the very next choice we make." ~Lysa TerKeurst; Made to Crave