I haven't disappeared from the world or from my goals. I actually finished my Whole30. It was difficult, but it really taught me to value the taste of GOOD food (good tasting AND good for me). Of course around the 27th of the month I got sick and it hasn't gone away yet. Last Tuesday they were telling me it was probably Mono. It hasn't been confirmed, but I was so tired, wasn't eating, and it felt like there was a vice around my ribcage constricting my breathing. It's getting better, but I can still feel it lingering and everyone around me keeps telling me to go slow and try not to overdo it. In my head I know that. I know I could end up in the hospital with pneumonia if I don't take it easy, but my body and I feel like we aren't communicating right now and it is beyond frustrating. Just last month we were in perfect sync, and now this illness has knocked me back to the 466 peg (I'm still hovering around 385, but my body feels like it did way back when when I was 100 pounds heavier.)
So ...I'm not so great at taking it slow.
(If you know me, you know this already.)
Before I move on to my current plan/goals, let me debrief those who were wondering about my Whole30 experience.
I really hit a stride after a while. At the beginning of the week I would make a whole chicken in the oven. I would strip everything off the chicken, save the meat and make chicken salad for lunches, and then put all of the bones and skin and fat in a pot and make my own homemade bone broth. I used the broth later in the week to make a soup out of whatever veggies I could find to throw in, whatever spices smelled good at the time, and some sort of animal protein - beef, pork, chicken, doesn't matter. The rest of the week we'd stick to a lot of staples. We became obsessed with Chocolate Chili. It's actually one of the first meals I made AFTER Whole30...it's just THAT good. I've tweaked the recipe to our tastes, but it is going to become a regular. We had a lot of hamburgers on lettuce buns, plenty of pork chops, and some random steak and other items whenever the mood struck. Breakfast was almost always either a frittata or simply an egg, sausage and veggie scramble. By Day 30 it got pretty darn easy to work a week's meal plan around the rules.
Of course then I got sick and lost my appetite completely. And then I only wanted crap junk food (ironically, nuggets from McDonald's of all things...). And now I just don't care what I eat as long as I'm still moving and breathing and getting to work.
Work is crazy busy, which makes right now one of the worst times ever to get sick, so...yeah, juggling that and the stress has been difficult. I just need a simple plan I can stick to without thinking too much about it. I'm not quite sure what that looks like yet, but I do know some of the basics I'm bringing back next week.
Water. A strict 8 glasses a day without excuse. I bought myself 2 32oz water bottles from one of the football moms that sells Tupperware. I plan on carrying my bottle around and making sure I empty it into my stomach at LEAST twice a day!
2200. I hate to do it to myself, but I need to just go back to counting calories. It's easy and I don't have to think too hard about it. For the first few weeks I'm going to try to stay within 2200-2400. My goal is to stick around 2200 until I get under 300 or unless that doesn't feel right. I think part of the problem in the past was cutting too much too fast and stalling out. I would go straight to a 1600 diet, and I can do that without too much trouble, but my body freaks out after a while and rebels and goes on strike. If I am not losing any weight on a 2200 calorie diet and I'm sticking to it like I should, then I will reevaluate.
Weigh-ins. Unfortunately this will be coming back as well. I'm not putting as much stock in this as I used to, though. After so many injuries and illnesses, I know the difference between the shape I am in now and the shape I was in when I was fighting myself for numbers on the scale. I wish I would have let go of the battle and just let myself feel good in my own skin. Instead I pressed too hard and landed myself right here. I signed up for my work's Biggest Loser competition...and if there is a cash prize involved, I fully intend to win it. We need the money for Christmas presents! *lol*
WORK OUT! These are coming back too. I had to scale back more than I ever thought. When I got injured I backed off, and then more when it started hurting again, until I couldn't even do laps at the pool or lift anymore because EVERYTHING hurt my foot. Problem is, the foot still hurts. Every time I start a walking routine I get sidelined again, and my self-confidence doesn't help me because I HATE walking with a limp and right now I kinda have to. So I bought the Walk Away the Pounds DVD. I used this workout when I was basically immobile about 100 pounds ago, so I know I can do it now. Plus, it's all done indoors where I don't feel my self-esteem plummet just because my knee needs a little TLC and I have to baby it through the mile.
Of course, all of this will take place AFTER my 5k this weekend.
I know what you were thinking -- why doesn't she start now? I have started more seriously considering my food choices and calculating my calorie intake. It will give me a fresh perspective. However, because of this illness, whatever it is, I'm doing my best to "take it easy". I was going to start working out this week, but Hubs suggested just resting for the 5k this weekend, which I refuse to back out of. I intend to walk it, of course, but I'm so terrified I'm going to have some sort of breathing malfunction and will have to stop without finishing the darn thing. I have friends and family walking with me, and they know about my current illness, so they've promised to help me through the best they can and keep an eye on me. Truth is, I paid $60+ for this race and I had intended to run it in the beginning. It was my triumphant return to the world of non-competitive running, I thought, but no matter how small of steps I tried to take in training for it, I got derailed again and again and again. Now I'm to the point where I have to at least try, and if I fail I'll have a starting point to measure my future successes against.
So that's where I'm at right now. My body is inflammed from head to toe and I should be home right now resting, but I have work to do and it isn't going to wait for me to feel better. I have another 5+ hour drive tomorrow, an overnight stay in a hotel, and another 5+ hours back on Friday...which isn't going to help my swollen ankles. I need to pound water like it's my JOB right now! And then Saturday we see what I'm really worth...I hope it's a finisher's medal (actually, I don't know if they're even handing those out...this is one of those color runs, which is why I wanted to do it in the first place - the charity host is the Special Olympics so I'm really hoping for some clarity in support and encouragement from the race organizers and workers and not impatience for me to hurry up and finish when I'll be lucky to even make it a mile!). At least it's a flat, easy course!
Other future plans:
Once I get the workout habit back, I need to incorporate some ST.
I would love to get a heavy bag for my basement. Stress relief and a great workout I will actually do.
I also want a rowing machine, which I hope will help the alignment issues with my knees and hips and help to strengthen those joints.
And one day I'll run again, or walk, or swim, or do something I can be proud of and move forward in.
Okay, off to drink some water! I want to try to check in here more, but we will see what I have time for. Did I mention I also completed my application for Grad School? It's an online MBA program, but still...I'm exhausted!