I went back to dance class last night, after missing two weeks of classes. Tuesdays are hip hop nights. I was embarassed to come back after missing two weeks, even though I only missed becuase the first week I was sick and last week I was out of town - but they didnt know that! They all thought I quit! But they were so happy to see me back. I had only met these ladies once, but the welcome back was seriously so appreciated. I dont have a lot of friends here in Colorado (despite living here for two years now) and while I dont really know my classmates at all, the feeling of being included in something, and accepted, is really a great feeling. I picked up on the combination they learned last week really quickly, sweated a lot, and had a lot of fun! So glad I decided to take these classes!
I got back into the gym on Monday and did some gym ST - its been a while since I've gone to the gym for ST. I've been neglecting it, but it wasnt horrible doing it. I enjoyed it, and the best part was that I slept really well that night. I'm still struggling with sleeping. I would say maybe 4 out of 7 nights per week I sleep fine, but the other three are rough, even with taking Advil PM or Zzzquil. But the ST really helped me sleep well that night. The only thing that really got me back into the gym for ST is my knee hurting again. I think I caught it early this time. Previously I would have run through the uncomfortable pain, but this time as soon as I felt it I stopped. I know its muscle weakness and IT band tightness so I am working on it. I am planning to get in another ST session after work today, and then try to run tomorrow.
I finally started sewing the quilt I have been working on for the past month (and by working on, I mean I cut out the little squares last month and then didnt do anything for weeks!). On Saturday I sewed all 9 of my quilt blocks. Each quilt block has 9 little squares. So now I have to sew the sashing, and then the real fun will begin - the actual quilting, and then binding. I am pretty excited about it. Saturday was also the first day I finally used my new sewing machine that I bought last month! It works so great! Much better than my old sewing machine. I havent had a chance to play with all of the fun stuff yet, but so far, so good! I have a few other sewing projects that I bought fabric for and havent started yet - but I am getting excited about sewing and crafting again! Also, while I was away for work, I crocheted a scarf. I know thats pretty random. I needed something to keep me busy and clear my head so that I didnt fall into complete devastation from the subject matter of my job. I finished the scarf and it looks so nice. I need to crochet more often - and that reminds me I have blanket that I started working on over the summer that I never finished! I enjoy crocheting (and cross-stitching) because I can do it while I am watching tv, and then I feel less lazy :)
I had my third therapy session this week. It was pretty difficult - I hadnt been in 3 weeks so we had a lot to talk about. I feel like we made some breakthroughs on some underlying beliefs that I hold that influence how I conduct my life that maybe more harmful than helpful for me. I think its hard acknowledging these things because it means you have to actually confront them! One of my underlying beliefs about my job is that "if I dont help them, no one will." Which in turn, leads me to feel guilty if I am not constantly working or thinking about how I can help my clients. But I shouldnt feel guilty because I'm sick and cant come to work; or because I need a break and have a life too, and want to enjoy my life. This is really hard for me - I constantly have feelings of guilty. But we are working on it. My other big issue is my controlling nature - not that I control other people. But that I feel like I have to be in control of my life at all times; but the reality is there are lots of things you dont have control over, and if you try to control those things it can make life really difficult. So I am trying to learn to let go of things that I cannot control and be open to change. Change is extremely difficult for me. Overall, I think that therapy is helping, and I look forward to my sessions because I really just want to improve my life, stress less, and actually enjoy my life, because lately I dont feel I get the satisfaction I should.
I weighed myself over the weekend - maybe Sunday? - just to see what kind of damage I did while being sick (when I ate everything in sight) and while away for work. I was happy to see that the scale had only gone up 1.5 lbs and most of it is probably water weight. I am glad that I am getting my eating under control while travelling. That is usually the hardest part for me! I cant say that I've been eating fabulously lately, so I want to get back to cooking meals again. I wont be travelling for work for another month so I should cook while I can! Plus, I always feel better when 1) I eat home-cooked meals and save money and 2) I have pre-portioned foods at home waiting for me so that I dont have to stress about what to eat.
I am so very happy that fall is here. I havent looked forward to it this much in a long time, but I think probably running all summer long in the hot weather makes welcome the cooler temps a lot more! I am enjoying the cooler temps, going to work in a cool breeze, not walking out during lunch to a sweltering car. I am also excited for fall clothes like boots and scarves and sweaters! Makes me want to go shopping for some fall clothes! I also want to do more outdoor activities now that the weather is bearable again, and it seems like the rainy season here in CO might be behind us now! I'm looking int osome different fall festivals in the area for J and I to go to - the Oktoberfest event we went to last weekend was kind of a bust because it wasnt as large as I had hoped it would be. We are also planning to spend a weekend in Vail next month, so that will hopefully be fun, too!
I'm sure I have other things to right about, but I've gotten out most things for now. Have a great day!