Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Fast.. what was going to be a day of blogging about my bike ride I did this weekend and how I felt after the ride and the next day which was "high" and happy and feeling like everything was going well. and then today.. I hear bad news.. which has hit me hard. my oldest daughter has cervical dysplasia which is pre cancer she was diagnosed last year and 2 weeks ago they found more which all in all it has a chance to be cervical cancer. I am so trying to be strong for her which I did not let her see my fear or my weakness and now that she is not with me right now and I am alone. I am letting it out.. and I am doing it in a wrong way. I am an emotional eater and my emotions are so high right now.. with that and the huge bike ride that I am doing for charity this Friday I am so on edge I know I am not making sense and I know I am rambling so I am going to cut this short.
I will say that being here and typing and thinking and knowing that I will get a hug from you all makes me feel much better and the feeling of giving up and just eating and eating and eating is replaced with the feeling of hope, and faith.. which I know is I me.. but needs to come out