Tuesday, September 24, 2013
So I seem to be going in two different directions--victories in some areas while I need some help in others.
I keep overeating. I'm just so hungry at night, and even if I'm not *hungry* I have that itch to eat something so bad that I'm climbing the walls and desperate for something of substance to munch on! I really think I'm quite literally addicted to the sense of taste with how much I NEED to be eating something.
If I was getting enough exercise I could chalk it up to having a higher caloric need, but I know that's definitely not the case (at least not yet, right?). So it's hard to make leeway when you're in that situation. I even eat things I don't want just so I'm eating (example: last night I had ice cream that I didn't want and didn't even care for much...mom has three tubs of the stuff in the freezer).
I just had lunch (a Lean Cuisine) half an hour ago and I'm still dying for something to eat. It's driving me nuts.
In happier news, though, I've had two non-dietary personal victories in the last 12 hours. My depression and terribly anxiety have been severe problems for me (though I only really identified that they were the root of them recently) and I'm very slowly making headway. I had to run errands today and I didn't get all mini-heart-attacky in the car for once! Driving around this town is terrifying for me (I miss Aggieland so much! I felt so safe there!), but I was okay today!
Secondly, I managed to work up the courage to talk to my boyfriend about some things last night (no relationship problems really, but my anxiety's potential to cause problems). I'd wanted to bring it up for some time and, once I was really tired to let my ambitions down a bit, I managed to get enough courage to start talking about it. I feel like a load's been lifted off of my shoulders and I can talk more openly with him about things now. I know the "problem" was all in my head and he had nothing to do with anything and it was just my anxiety and other head stuff, but things still feel different now, and that's what matters.